200485448-0051.jpgIn the wake of the tragic events that unfolded in Ohio last week where a very expectant mother was slain and buried, I felt it necessary to put official politics to the side and address a pressing community issue. As many around the country and perhaps even the world watched the disturbing details about the disappearance and ultimate murder of the young woman in Ohio, minds were baffled at who could commit such a heinous act of violence against someone so vulnerable and helpless (given her condition). When the headlines revealed the alleged murderer was none other than the father of the victim’s two-year old son and unborn child, viewers were outraged. And the question I came away with after all was finally revealed was simply this: What are we, as a community, doing to build and uplift our girls so they fully understand they do not have to settle for less? In this two-part series, we will address the two primary areas of how women compromise themselves.

Just to be clear, this is not an article to judge lifestyles or life choices. However, this is an article to bring much needed attention to the poor choices many of today’s young women are making when it comes to relationships. With all the controversy surrounding the rap industry and the way women are portrayed in both song and video, one has to wonder who is leading by example in the lives of our girls today.

No one ever said change wasn’t necessary but all change is not good. And while infidelity has always existed, never has it taken the front seat it does today. It is understood that in many of these cases, the women are not aware that the men they become involved with are married. However, there are many women who gladly admit to having affairs with married men and justifying the behavior by detaching themselves from the truth of the relationship. Is the current state of thinking it is okay to become involved with a man who is married the new trend? With all the milestones women have reached in today’s society, are we willing to set ourselves back for fleeting moments of affection?

I think it is high time we sit down and have a real heart to heart about this matter and more. Let’s get real. Men are like everyone else and will do and get away with whatever they are allowed to. Women can not leave it up to men to change their behavior. Our girls need to be instilled with a strong sense of self-worth and self-respect so as to avoid many of these pitfalls women have come to face in unsuccessful relationships. Many young women nowadays grow up without a father or strong male figure in the home and this may contribute greatly to that inner need for love and acceptance. Women have to guide that sense of longing in our young women so they don’t get caught up in the process of discovering love. Marriage is sacred. It is a spiritual bond between a man, a woman, and their God. It isn’t something to be entered into lightly or dismissed whenever an argument arises. By the same token, for those women who are single and searching, don’t make it easy for these men. Question them and find out as much as you can before you allow yourself to get emotionally attached. In the long run, you will save yourself a ton of heartache and disappointment. Ask yourself, do you really want to devote your time to a man who can’t fully commit to you? And for the woman who on rare occasion is able to successfully get a man to leave his wife and in turn marry you, do you really believe he’s going to be fully committed to you? Who is to say he won’t do the same thing to you with someone else?

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  • octavia

    the last paragraph…truest words ever.
    I’m guilty of not asking enough questions, but I’ve made a pledge to myself that the next time will not be a re-run of other relationships.