74855661.jpg I know I can count on one man in my life to give his true thoughts and perspective on any subject I may have to introduce to him for advice. He is definitely a person I love dearly and one who helped to guide me in directions that I may not have taken if I did not value his opinion. We have known each other since our junior year of High School and each year that we are offered on this earth, we grow stronger and happier in our friendship. I am thankful to be in his presence when we are offered the opportunity. Since I have moved farther away from our hometown, these moments are clearly some of the happiest in my life. We share inside jokes and conjure up memories simply for laughs and smiles, and we can delve into a serious conversation and disagree without anyone getting hurt. We show affection towards one another just as best friends of the same sex would; hugs, kisses on the cheek, and comforting embraces when times are too hard to bear alone, yet there are many people who assume we are more than we actually are.

Why is a platonic friendship between a male and female still taboo? What is so hard about perceiving an adult male and female being only friends? These are two questions that we have had to ponder almost every year of our twelve year friendship and I doubt any of it will get easier with time. When I first met my best friend, there were several hints that we would probably be nothing more than two people who shared a couple of advanced courses together. Our personalities were total opposites of each other; he was quiet and well reserved in his thinking, did not run with a clique of friends, and usually sat in the back of our classes so that he could not be bothered. There was something about me and another friend of mine that prompted him to speak and share laughs with the two of us. From that day on, a friendship like no other slid its way into this world buck naked and ready to be slapped. We have done everything we can to keep it as lively, fresh, and as interesting as the first day we met, and we have not failed yet.

I have acknowledged the statements, thoughts, and questions I have been confronted with from my peers, family, and associates. I dislike trying to make someone understand why I have taken a certain position on something, and this is one issue that I will not explain or break down anymore for anyone who approaches me with the “why haven’t you guys?” and “when will you guys?” questions. The fact that there are people who cannot wrap the thought of an adult male and female being only friends around their finger remains foreign to me. Sure there have been movies to illustrate the downfall of best friends of the opposite sex remaining just “best friends”, but that is Hollywood, and every person presented with this situation may not be so anxious to throw away a solid and remarkably lasting friendship to marry the person they have known since childhood. It is my firm belief that friends tolerate a lot of things in friendship that they perhaps will not be able to tolerate in an intimate one-on-one relationship with each other. I admire Hollywood for presenting films that show true love can reign supreme between the two main characters we as viewers love to see. But, have you ever noticed we do not get the after wedding effects of these used-to-be best friends?

I am a cautious individual and I believe in the “if it is not broken, don’t fix it” rule. I embrace every day I am able to wake up and be apart of one of my best and closest friend’s life. We are both single therefore, we are no threat to significant others. I applaud his efforts in understanding, appreciating, and supporting me with anything I do and in turn, I will continue to do the same for him. He is rare and so is our friendship. I will not tamper with this perfection.

Interesting articles on this subject:

Decatur Daily

About.com

Christianity Today

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  • “bighead”

    *blows raspberry* I had to watch The Simpsons without cha this weekend 8( , but it’s cool. Dug the article (of course); my sentiments exactly. Your friendship is a gift from God, and I cherish it more and more as we get older. We’ve survived time, distance, different lifestyles, jealous lovers, and that “uncomfortable” incident on your 25th birthday, and still perservered; I sometimes take it for granted, but I am really blessed to have a friend like you, Tremaine. Love always, Levy.

    I have a care package I’m gonna send you this week, so look out for it in the next few days.

  • tremaine

    you and Mook are going to spoil me rotten man. I love you guys though. Thanks for reading and apprecaiting the article as much as you appreciate our silly, adorable, lasting, and odd (to some) friendship.

  • I had about four relationships like that in high school and college they slowly died away once we moved on with our life but I really valued those special relationships. My female friends and other associates would try to hook us up but our realtionship wasn’t about that. I am married now but I do miss just having a friendship relationship with a guy where we can hang out and then we can go our seperate ways and then meet up on another day or talk on the phone for awhile. I love my husband and being married. We are friends but those other relationships were just so different.