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Why Are You Single?!

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tmobileb3.jpg The dating game is getting hard. So many of us are beautiful, funny, educated, grounded, artistic and well-versed on many subjects, yet for some reason, most of us are still waiting for Mr. Right to walk in to our lives. That is why your sisters at Clutch have decided to get to the root of this problem by going to the horses mouth—our men! Here we’re highlighting men and giving them a chance to vent on why they are single.

Name/Alias: Marcus

Occupation: Account Executive

Location: Atlanta, GA

Age: 25

Sign: Aries

So Marcus, why are you single? A couple of reasons—I’ve moved around a lot in the past year, so I didn’t want to start something that I wasn’t sure I could finish. Along with that, I haven’t really found anyone that sparks my interest enough to consider a serious relationship with them.

What do you look for in a woman? A woman who knows who she is, and what she’s about. Has a great personality, killer smile, a good sense of humor, and is quick-witted.

What turns you off? All out rudeness/lack of couth. I’m quite the observer, so I watch how she treats other people and reacts to different situations. Overcrowding—I think we all need a little bit of space sometimes. You can throw clinginess off into the pot too.

When on a date—do you foot the bill or do you go dutch with your date? It depends. If I’m pursuing her, and asking her to spend some time with me, I’ll gladly foot the bill. If she’s the pursuer, then the bill will be split (unless I had one hell of a good time, then I don’t mind paying).

Where do you usually look or run into potential date material? I’m not really a looker. If you look too hard, you’re bound to miss something. I meet people at pretty random places (hell, even while I was getting my oil changed last month).

Have you ever dated outside your race and did you notice any differences? If so, what? Dated, yes. Serious relationship, no. The only difference I’ve noticed from my personal experience is that other races tend to be much too clingy. I’m not a fan of having someone up under me 24 hours per day, nine days per week . . . go find something to do!

As a Black man, what do you love about Black women? Is there anything you don’t like? Their strength and all their beautiful shades of brown. Also, their physical shape—some of the perfect proportions that I see/have seen are a thing of beauty. As far as dislikes, nothing comes to mind at the moment.

clutch1.jpgWhen you think of us (black women)? What’s the first three things that come to mind? Confidence, beauty, and the nuances of a shared glance.

Do you have any physical requirements for a woman? Well, she has to at least be cute. I don’t want to wake up next to Gonzo from The Muppets in the morning! I try not to pigeonhole my ideal mate because there are other things that are so much more important than the physical (but now I’m going to totally contradict that statement by adding that a small waist, nice hips, and a set of nice stems are always a magnet *wipes drool*).

Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

What advice would you give to a woman that’s single? It’s OK to be single. Don’t just settle for any old kind of relationship, and don’t feel like you need to rush into a relationship as soon as you meet someone who has potential. Take some time to get to know the person before taking the plunge.

In your opinion, what makes a man want to settle down? When he feels like he can tell a woman anything (Y’all know it’s hard to get us to open up at times). When he’s not afraid to just let loose and be himself. Lastly, when he looks at you and he knows that you are there for him.

Do you want to be attached? or are you still in your “having fun” phase? At this point, I’m somewhere in between. I don’t play double dutch when it comes to relationships, so I have no problem waiting until I think that someone is worth the time and effort it takes to make something beautiful together (it ain’t easy y’all!).

Do you believe in marriage? Do you plan on being married one day? Yes, and yes.

In your opinion, what’s the one mistake you think women make when in a relationship? What mistake do you think men make? Developing a dependence on your significant other. I think it’s important to have your own life, your own things, and your own sense of independence. That crosses both sides of the gender line.

clutch2.jpgDescribe the perfect date! Her favorite restaurant. Dimly lit, a little music in the background . . . her favorite dish/wine. Once we are locked in, the rest of the place is dark, and there’s no one in there but me and her.

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? I have dubbed my worst date “Waiting to Inhale.” Her breath was horrible, so it was hard to talk to her because all I could concentrate on was her breath. I honestly don’t remember one word she said the whole night.

Do you date women with children? Why or why not? In the past, yes. Currently, no. I would prefer not to have worry about the division of attention between her and her children. At the end of the day, they are going to be what’s most important to her. Unfortunately, some women will put their boyfriend/new date/special friend before their kids, and I hate that.

When dating, how important is her family values to you? If we are SERIOUSLY dating, then her family values are very important. I come from a close-knit family, so I place a high value on that familial relationship. I plan on having a family one day, and if she has the potential to be an integral part of that family, then it’s essential that we are on the same page as far as our priorities (raising kids, getting along with my family, etc.)

Do you think the reason you’re single is because of unrealistic standards or possibly your personality?
Not at all. It’s a personal decision that I have made in terms of when I would be ready to pursue something like that. Now that I’m settled and where I want to be, this would be a great time to start thinking about the possibility of building a relationship with one of the lovely ladies of ATL.

Are you accepting date proposals? Is fat meat greasy?

If you are interested in learning more about Marcus please email us at [email protected]

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  • Xtravagant

    Wow! It sounds like someone has been dogged and has a not-so-subconscious agenda to push. While I can agree with some of your sentiments in your mini-blog,I strongly disagree with your blanket categorization that Marcus probably is a typical brother, trying to get positive female attention. Being a very strong and educated black woman, who is founded on the highest principles, I wholeheartedly can say that Marcus is an awesome man. Perfection should never be our end goal and Marcus does not try to come off as the perfect man. With that said, he does come off as a mighty-darn-good man and that is because of the depth of his familial, religious, and personal values! I know this brother and can second a majority of what he has stated. Instead of trying to detract from what he has shared, one should be asking—what positive insight or knowledge have I gained! I think a little self actualization should be your first priority—not downing a great guy. Come now, homogenizing all black men just is ignorant. “Settling” is the true issue you speak about. One should never settle, but sadly…that has nothing to do with Marcus.

    Sorry

  • Tonya

    This was a great article. Marcus, has always been a great and well-rounded man through the years I’ve known him. I commend him for doing the interview and just stating how he feels about different issues that come up in the dating scene. Best of luck to him in his life, career, and love choices….Godbless you and Always Smile…

    ps. Make sure she’s a GODLY woman!! hugs