The dating game is getting hard. So many of us are beautiful, funny, educated, grounded, artistic and well-versed on many subjects, yet for some reason, most of us are still waiting for Mr. Right to walk in to our lives. That is why your sisters at Clutch have decided to get to the root of this problem by going to the horses mouth—our men! Here we’re highlighting men and giving them a chance to vent on why they are single.
Name/Alias: Muta’Ali “Mr.99Names”
Occupation: CEO/Filmmaker, The Raw Report (rawreport.com)
So Muta’ Ali… why are you single?
I’m single because my last relationship didn’t work out and I haven’t had the opportunity to connect with anyone since then. My work keeps me busy and it gets hard to make plans with people.
When was your last relationship and how long were you two together?
My last relationship ended in June of this year. I can’t really tell you how long we were together though. I’m private in that way. I can tell you that I don’t consider ‘it’ a relationship unless I’ve been with someone for a while though.
What do you look for in a woman?
That all depends on what I need at the time. If I’m looking for fun then I don’t need much. If I’m looking for a partner in crime (an official girlfriend), I’m definitely looking for TRUST. The industry I’m in is full of lies and nothing you see or hear is really the truth… I need some honesty when I get ‘home’ to get me back to reality and allow me to put my guard down for the night.
What turns you off?
Ghetto attitudes turn me off and women who aren’t understanding of my struggle. I love to be there for my woman and fulfill her needs but a woman who is weak and who can’t have a good, productive, happy day on her own is a no-no.
When on a date…do you foot the bill or do you go dutch with your date?
I usually foot the bill. It just seems right. I’ve never felt comfortable having the woman pay for me. A turn on though is a woman who won’t let me pay on the 2nd date. It shows me she’s got her own money and she’s not trying to milk a situation for a few free meals. It’s funny but if you just sit back and watch people, they put themselves in their place for you. You rarely have to decide on your own if a woman is made for fun of for love… if she’s trustworthy or out for some cash… just pay attention and they’ll tell you themselves.
Where do you usually look or run into potential date material? (club, work, library)
I usually meet women when I’m out filming for work. That’s basically because that’s the only time I’m out. Usually I’m in the lab working on our latest project. I’ll tell you what though, meeting women at the library would definitely increase my chances of finding a winner… I like a woman who’s not out on the scene too much and when I’m out working it’s mostly at parties, recording studios and music video sets… full of women who are on the scene wayyy too much.
Have you ever dated outside your race and did you notice any differences? If so, what?
Honestly, when it comes to serious dating, I haven’t dated outside my race. It’s always been black women. Either African American or Jamaican…
As a Black man, what do you love about Black women? Is there anything you don’t like?
Oh man. You know black women are the most beautiful human beings on the planet. No offense to any other races out there (maybe I’m genetically predisposed to liking black women) but I’ve got to tell you that ‘WOW’ is all I can say. I love the strength that black women have and I love how beautiful they are. At the same time, that strength is a double edged sword. Many black women use their strength against strong black men and not along side strong back men.
When you think of us (black women)? What’s the first three things that come to mind?
When I think of black women I first think of my mother and my grandmothers. I think of all they’ve done for me and how they’ve led their lives to get where they are. Next I think of the women of my generation and the different types of black women out there. Lastly, I think of what’s next for me. I wonder what type of women is about to walk into my life.
Do you have any physical requirements for a woman? (weight, body type)
According to my dating history, I like to date women who are in shape and have nice @$$es and or tig ol bitties. If neither, they are the sweetest things in the world and they ALL have beautiful faces. For me, that’s most important… I might look at your booty and your chest during those love making times but I have to see your face ALL DAY!
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, not literally. I don’t think you can LOVE anyone at first sight but I definitely do believe in chemistry and “she’s the one” feelings. I’ve looked at maybe 3 women in my life and I had a feeling that they’d play a roll in my life and they sure have. Call it love at first sight if you want.
How important is sex to you?
Sex is up there… right under trust! I love sex. I’m not a guy who likes to have sex w/A LOT of random women. I’m a guy who likes to have sex with his girl A LOT… and don’t get it twisted… I’ve been in successful relationships with girls who weren’t good in bed at all and I still liked it because of that connection we had and at the end of the day I’m gonna make the sex good for the two of us anyway. We gonna make it happen!
What advice would you give to a woman that’s single ?
In your opinion, what makes a man want to settle down?
There are a few things that will make a man want to settle down. Maybe he’s sick of all the BS that comes with the single life. Maybe he’s looking for something deeper than a quickie. Maybe he wants a family or maybe he’s sick of wasting his time on women who aren’t worth it. It’s hard to choose between love and that round ass that just trotted by…
Do you want to be attached? or are you still in your having fun?
Good question… I want to be attached to the right person and that person will be all the fun I need. But she’s not here now so…
Are you a man scorned?
Man, we’re all scorned out here, sista. We’re just trying to make the best of it. I couldn’t even begin to tell you all the mess that my friends have been through in relationships out here. Sometimes it’s normal nowadays to assume you’re gonna end up divorced or your wife is cheating or the girl you’re dating just wants to have a baby on purpose to lock you into her life. Your baby might really be your best friend’s baby. Husbands are turning HOMO on their wives. So much BS from women and men as well… We’re all just trying to be happy for a while and find someone who will truly ride with us through this life…
Do you think the reason you’re single is because of unrealistic standards or possibly your personality?
I do have high standards. I expect to receive just as much as I give and I give a lot.
Are you accepting date proposals?
If you are interested in learning more about Muta’ Ali please email us at [email protected]