Love in Style

by

newclutchlogoblackI like to think of myself as a lover of fashion, something like a fashionista. One, who admires, respects and loves to play around with the various vogues of fashion. I’m guessing that’s why it’s so hard for me to rationalize purchasing the same piece of clothing or accessory in a different color. No matter how much I love the shirt, shoes, pants or bag I refuse to be complacent and duplicate it, with the awareness that there are so much more diverse options out there to choose from. It’s so easy to multiply a pattern or style so you don’t have to run around town looking for something else that fits you. But what’s the fun in that when there are so many designers and fashions out there? I’m sure my fellow fashionistas can relate to this feeling. I sternly believe that repeating the same patterns in clothing hinders your ability to experience the other thousands of fabulous artifacts that you may like and grow to love. The only thing that it does is create a boring look both inside and outside of your closet.

This same theory on fashion should also apply to the way we “style” our love lives. Our lack of self-love and true love is mainly because we often repeat the same fashion faux over and over each season. Even when our “patterns” (i.e. issues) are unhealthy, we continue to use the same “material” (i.e. thought process, illogical behaviors, etc.) with different “threads” (i.e. men) and ultimately end up with the same old “outfit” (i.e. results and outcomes). Yet frustrated, bored, hurt and depressed, we continue to visit the same “stores” because we know what to expect when we get there and know exactly where to find our “size”. We don’t even have to go the dressing room anymore because we know how everything fits. Naturally, we shop at these “stores” so often that we receive discount coupons, credit cards and a host of other enticing features that ultimately serve us more harm then good in the long run. Nonetheless, we are left only with another “bill” (i.e. pain and heartache) and “receipts of purchase”. And although we may fuss and complain when the payments are due, because we can’t remember what we bought, we still continue to shop there.

This common “shopping spree” is what our lives look like when we don’t change our patterns and behaviors to produce healthy and fulfilling relationships. I can’t stress enough, how important it is to love and respect yourself so anyone who comes into your life must do the same wholeheartedly and consistently. When you chose unhappiness and complacency over change you put yourself on the clearance rack – half the price for something that should be worth a whole lot more. And that is one bargain that is not worth wearing.

Begin to shop around and try new styles. Be that trendsetter and create that make over you deserve. Trust me, he will love your new “outfit”, and so will you.

Happy love shopping!

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  • Noemi

    Good piece! A lot of folks will offer “sound” advice in terms of dating, but I feel that most folks have to be SPIRITUALLY equipped with knowledge and tools of the dating. To add to Rashana’s point, most folks dress to be attractive, but if you are “dressed” with the proper spiritual tools, you will automatically attract your ideal mate. If one identifies what a real relationship should be about and identify the wrong road previously taken to dating, then they will set their GPS on a different path, which is the right path!

  • lady o

    loves it!

  • tremaine

    the nail on the head is here: “Even when our “patterns” (i.e. issues) are unhealthy, we continue to use the same “material” (i.e. thought process, illogical behaviors, etc.) with different “threads” (i.e. men) and ultimately end up with the same old “outfit” (i.e. results and outcomes).”

    I truly appreciated this Rashana, and the use of the metaphor was definitely clever. To echo what everyone else said above, great article, I loved it as well.

  • gg

    ooh, i love this!

  • amberj

    Thank you!!! That was wonderful!!