Given the never-ending juxtaposition of the two American cultures so crudely labeled, “Black” & “White”, we felt it fitting to highlight another socio-anthropological study that examines the other side of thangs. Sadly the shrewd and hysterical blog, StuffEducatedBlackPeopleLike.com, appears to be disabled, but their legacy lives on by way of excerpts from various amusing blogs.
SEBPL.com may have caused some friction with some (i.e. the questionable use of the word ‘educated’ in the title), but its keen observation infused with copious witticism makes one regretful that this satirical site is absent from the blogosphere. Just like its ‘counterpart’ StuffWhitePeopleLike.com, we can assume that an observant American of the African persuasion, with an intimate understanding of the pretentious sub-culture of which they speak, presents the hilariously scientific musings of SEBPL. Read it and weep:
#20 Correcting Others: Educated Black People Like correcting others [and] will stop at nothing to show off their so-called “educated” status. Whether it is correcting a co-worker on a point of information, or telling their 90-year-old grandmother that it’s pronounced, “sink” and not “zink”; an EBP knows no boundaries.
As soon as an EBP has completed one semester of college, they’ll behave as though they have just obtained a PhD in Everything – even though their GPA was a 2.0 and they never went to class. They will automatically become an expert on spelling, grammar, rocket science, and of course African studies. These EBP come home from college anticipating the opportunity for a family or church member to make a mistake. The degree to which an EBP corrects others depends on whether they are attending or have attended an HBCU or a majority white institution. If the EBP has attended a majority white university, they will be on correction overload; being around all those white students gives them a feeling of superiority to other blacks. They will even correct and attack other EBP who attend HBCUs. It does not matter where the mistake occurs, an EBP will loudly correct the person; embarrassing the non-EBP won’t matter as long as the EBP has had his time to shine.
#13 Talking About Uneducated Black People: EBP like talking about uneducated Blacks who disgrace their race. Most EBP hate those Blacks who are loud in public and draw unnecessary attention to themselves. EBP especially get embarrassed when they are out with their white friends and they run into an uneducated Black person. They usually want to run over and slap the uneducated Black in order to stop whatever stupid behavior they are doing, but of course, this would not be very educated of them.
Most educated Blacks are embarrassed by the loud music and large rims uneducated blacks seem to love. Another favorite is poor grammar, which is usually spoken very loudly. When a group of EBP get together, they typically talk about all the uneducated Blacks they saw that day. Conversations on this topic can go on for hours and can range from slippers to do-rags worn in public!
#16 Moving to Atlanta: Like moths drawn to the eternal flame flickering outside the Dr. King Memorial… you will encounter an educated Black person announce his/her desire to move to Atlanta. What is it about this city? Maybe folks are husband and wife shopping with the huge selection of educated brothers and sisters getting cranked out of Morehouse, Spelman, Clark Atlanta, or Morris Brown. We all know that EBP love to find like-minded individuals to date. Whatever it is, one day, out of the clear blue sky, it became the “Black Mecca” and EBP from coast-to-coast started getting a tingling desire to start a new life there. And with colleges and universities all around, EBP can work on obtaining a new advanced degree every two years.
#4 Natural Hair: Educated Black people like natural hair. They love to show their pride for their race and culture by wearing their hair in its unrelaxed and natural state. This may include a range a styles, such as braids, twists, locs, or freestyle kinky/curly/coily tresses.
While educated Blacks love for people to admire their hair, they hate it when someone touches it without invitation or permission. And if you do touch it, they HATE stupid comments like, “Wow! I had no idea it was so soft!” That’s a surefire way to get told off. Educated Blacks love to encourage other Blacks to allow their hair to grow out in its natural state. However, what they love most is to give Blacks that wear relaxers guilt trips about how they are conforming to the European standard of beauty. It makes them feel so much better than you to know that they are educated and liberated enough to not have to be a conformist.
StuffEducatedBlackPeopleLike.com may be considered an excellent resource for those individuals who are uncertain as to how to best engage with the thinking Black person. Despite its disappearance, the comical information the site conveyed lives on via the following links: