As with anything in life, to love and then lose that portion of your heart to another woman brings about a series of emotions that all lead to the same destination… Why her? Even as you whisper the words or breath them into your wonderwall, the mystery can never be resolved without the blessing of a revelation.
Most of the time the treasures that reside in the truth, are buried underneath the lie that blankets what was once your relationship. To understand the folly that succeeded your heartstrings, would mean you’d have to face the hurt head on and brave through its promise of clarity.
But who will deliver you from heartbreak hotel and offer your emotions a bit of peace and sincerity? Can you trust your former love to divulge the secret doorway of his infidelity, or will you forever remain closed off to his world apart from your discounted feelings? When you’ve been lied to before, words are like a game of Russian Roulette. You load the gun and spin the chamber and hope to be hit with a burden of truth. It’s a game of risk and happenchance, but when it comes to your heart, openness and honesty should be the only journey afforded to you.
Even as you read the words dripping from his lips, or hear the anecdotes offered to cover the pain in the situation, you’re still left with an unknowing. You’re still short one side of the two-sided story. You’re still moving forward, yet standing still, just in need of the last piece to the ever-changing puzzle.
To see the world through her eyes, or uncover the second half of his outside opportunity, could bring your curiosity full circle but leave you battered by the interruption of certainty. She’s closer to the truth than you could ever be, because inside his private world she bares the only other key. She has the answers he’ll never tell you. She is the reason his heart disregarded you. She is the self-proclaimed Other Woman.
Because most of us wouldn’t dare turn the knife any further, it’s better to sit and wonder rather than chase down the mystery. Yet in an attempt to bring you closer to your curiosity, I found a few women who are actively involved with men who are married or in a relationship that are willing to give their side of the infidelity. Maybe through their words, you’ll understand your own story. These are some of the intimate whispers of the proud and truthful Other Woman.
When you met him, did you know he was in a relationship and did that stop you from getting involved?
I knew he had a girlfriend, but it was no secret that shorty just couldn’t seem to make him happy. I’m of this philosophy, ‘If he ain’t wearing a ring, then he’s obviously waiting for me.’ [Laughs] Okay, I don’t want to come off like a complete b*tch, but if he was serious about his girlfriend, he would have popped the question 3 years ago. I was just the change of scenery he needed, and he was just the craving I desired, so it worked out. — J.L. 31 Years Old.
This jerk lied to me. I didn’t know he had a wife. He kept her hidden, that’s for sure. By the time I found out, I was already in love with him, and there was no turning back. The last thing I was going to let him do was make me look like a sucker, so I’ve been with him for over a year, and I know that he plans on leaving her for me. They don’t have any kids, and if it wasn’t for the house and the financial issues, he would be at my house every night, and not just a couple days out of the week. — Anonymous, 24 Years Old.
We’re best friends. I’ve always known his girlfriends. Met them, spent time with them, but that’s not going to stop me from enjoying his sexual company. I need him just as much as they do. I’m not trying to be selfish, but I’m not giving him up for anything or anyone. We’re comfortable with our situation and what his girlfriends don’t know won’t hurt them. — C.T. 37 Years Old.
Does it bother you that there is another woman’s feelings involved, and that you’re single-handedly playing the role of a home wrecker?
Is this a serious question? What about my feelings? I mean for real, that girl he’s with is not stupid. He’s at my house almost every night, and if she’s dumb enough to hang in there, that’s her problem. He’s given her all the hints that should let her know he’s got me on the side. Her ignorance has her hanging onto a dead relationship. I’m just as in love as she is, but I’m not going to step out of my place just because she won’t. All’s fair in love and war, or however that saying goes. I’m a fighter, not a home wrecker. He’s my man, and that girl needs to be the one to move on. — K.B. 18 Years Old.
Sometimes, but who am I kidding, it’s not going to stop me from sleeping with him or anything. The sex is too good. [Laughs] Next question please. — A.S. 32 Years Old.
I think about her feelings when I’m not with him, but that’s just because I’m mad that he’s with her and not me. She knows about me. We’ve already been caught, and she already knows he ain’t gon’ leave me alone completely. I don’t consider myself a home wrecker since the cats already out the bag. I just think she’s stupid, because she hanging on to a dream. — Anonymous, 36 Years Old.
Why do you stay involved with him when you know he’s got a girlfriend/wife?
Because I’m hoping that he’ll leave her for me. Plain and simple. I’m not a bad person, I just got caught up with my heart. That’s not a crime. Every women has dated a married man before anyway. — Anonymous, 24 Years Old.
I don’t want a real relationship at this point in my life. I’m dating two men with girlfriends, and I’m cool with that because after I get my appetite satisfied, they go home and play house with their ladies and I get my “Me Time.” I’m young, sexy and just doing me. I don’t really feel I need to explain myself to anyone. These fools are gonna cheat whether it’s with me or you. Say I’m lying? I’m just smart enough to get mine while the rest of you just act prudish when you know you want to. — J. L. 31 Years Old.
Girlfriends are temporary. I don’t mess with married men. Everyone else is fair game when you meet ’em in the club. If he cared about that girl, he wouldn’t dog her out by sleeping with me. You need to ask these brothas why they stay involved with a girl when they know they’re just going to cheat. — A.S. 32 Years Old.
Why do you think he chose you?
I know why he chose me… I’m everything she isn’t. My “Man”, if that’s what I should call him used to complain to me everyday when we were just friends about how his girl would nag him and had just let herself go since they got together 2 years earlier. Women need to realize, that what you did to get him is what you need to do to keep him. I’m sexy 24/7. She also had him on a tight leash, and as I friend I let him breath. He liked my carefree nature, and was tired of her attitude problem. One thing led to another and we went from being emotionally in love to being in a sexual affair. I’m his everything. She’s just the woman he’s used too. I’m fine with that for now, but eventually, he better leave her for good. — Anonymous 36 Years Old.
Because we just have a rhythm you can’t [mess] with. He’s a DJ, and I’m an aspiring singer, so when we met, we just clicked instantly. I know him and his girl got a lot in common and all, but I think he’s just with her because of their kids. I’m encouraging, and we’re just good friends more than anything. I think he chose me because I’m what he’s truly looking for, whereas she represents an old way of thinking. — K.B. 18 Years Old.
I think people stumble into love, and sometimes it’s when they’re least expecting it. Me and my guy were best friends. We tried dating in our 20’s but settled for being buddies. No matter who I’m dating, or who he’s dating, we always find ourselves in a sexual affair. We just can’t resist one another, but for some reason we just don’t do well together in the open. I know it’s wrong on both our parts, but I’m not willing to give him up and he’s not willing to let me go either. I’m sure we’ll be married to our spouses and falling into bed together way into our 70’s. We have a love thang no one can compare to. — C.T. 37 Years Old.
Do you have any plans of moving on in the future or are you waiting for her to leave?
I‘ll move on when I’m ready to be in a relationship with someone. Right now I’m comfortable and I’m having fun. I’m not ashamed of it either. — J. L. 31 Years Old.
If he doesn’t leave her by the end of this year, I’m hitting the beats. It’s been long enough, and I’m not going to play the fool too much longer. He’s got too much freedom to bounce back and forth between us two. He gets mad at me when I mention getting a boyfriend, so if he wants to continue sleeping with me, then he needs to get a divorce for real. I love him. — Anonymous 24 Years Old.
I’m good. This works for me right now. I have all the perks of a relationship without having the drama. If he leaves her, I’ll be here for him, but I’m not going to fool myself into believing this greedy cat is going to choose me anytime soon. — A.S. 32 Years Old.
I am his future. Period. Her numbers almost up. —K.B. 18 Years Old.