Are you 21+ with no relationship experience? Never been on a date or approached by a guy you actually like?

Sometimes it may seem like you’re the only girl in the world who never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, or been on a date. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Sometimes, it seems like it’s impossible to have a platonic relationship with a guy. Feeling intimidated or shy around a guy is a natural emotion, but eliminating these feelings is easier said than done. You may feel like guys overlook the good girls for the easy score, which is true in some instances. It’s not fair, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles, but you don’t have to accept that. There are good guys that you may think are cool, but one of three things happen: 1) They’re like a brother/best friend to you 2) They’re taken or 3) Both.

Being your own woman should always come first, but everyone gets lonely sometimes. It’s Fall now, the weather is changing, and everybody seems to be ‘boo’d up’ except for you. I know it’s a bummer, but focusing on yourself and waiting for the right guy to come your way is key because you won’t achieve anything if you rush it.

So here’s a word of encouragement Clutchettes:

Take your time, don’t rush. Continue to be yourself, strive to be the best you can be at everything you do, remain genuine, and eventually you’ll find someone who appreciates all you have to offer. Remember, there are tons of girls out there just like you so you’re not alone.

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  • When I saw the link to this article on the sidebar – I immediately jumped out of my chair. This is the story of my life’and thank you Clutch for putting this out there.

    I’m 23 years old, recently graduated from college and have never had a real boyfriend. Trust me when I say, there have been MANY a night and day when I’ve thought: “I’m really going to be single for the rest of my life.” I have been pursued by guys and have done some (ok, very little) pursuing but I’ve never felt that “thing” for another guy.

    People say that a part of this is due to the fact that I’m so picky but I have standards and I’m proud of having them because so many of my peers and friends get into trouble because they either didn’t have any or let their boyfriend talk them into doing something they weren’t prepared to handle.

    But the best thing about all of this singledom is that I am not afraid of all my “me time.” I know how to entertain myself and am very comfortable with who I am.

  • sunshine

    I really liked reading this article. This truly hit home with me because sometimes I find myself willing to settle for the wrong type of man just so i can say that I’m in a relationship and fill a void in my life that another person cant fix. To all of my ladies out there who feel that doing this will fix something, believe me it doesn’t, because the last time i did that it ended really bad and i was angry with myself for allowing that situation into my life. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you if you’re single….trust me if a man is interested in you he will definitely let you know, but its up to you (if you’re interested) to show him that you’re feeling him too, which can possibly lead to a meaningful friendship and relationship. You don’t have to change who you are, obviously if he approached you he saw something he liked

  • i’m 18, but i feel like in a few years i’ll still be never been kissed/single/etc. i think mine has a lot to do with me being really shy and any guy who even shows he’s vaguely interested in me is automatically relegated to the “friend zone”–and all the guys i’m genuinely attracted to don’t know i exist.

  • Alex

    I have to agree with sunshine on this one. And add that I’m going through some serious issues with my ex, I man that I basically settled for, because I was on the rebound and felt like I needed/wanted to be with somebody. Single handed worst mistake of my life. I wish had waited to pursue a relationship, the previous one I went some things I was not ready for and still have to deal with the consequences. Plus if you think about it the fewer relationships , the probability of having hang ups and issues won’t leak into your new are fewer as well I think.

  • dionne

    I agree with Chiffon Kisses who knows when eventually will happen. while in college I would go on study dates with guys I were not necessarily attracted to just for fun. It’s all about being open to possibilities and putting yourself out there. all the people who sigh and say,”you’ll find somebody” are never single. they didn’t wait. there has to be a cutie at the gym or the supermarket or in your study group. be willing to spend time. don’t play games with dudes either.