bxp255983I always bought into the idea that there are three sides to every story, his side, her side, and the truth. But often times when we’re out here going through the dating circus of life during the “getting-to-know-you-period,” we’re battered with the promise of our potential mate’s suitcase of baggage.

In walks the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend- or in some men’s cases their Psycho Baby Momma. She’s the reason “Craig” starting drinking, “DeWayne” moved back in with his momma, “Ray,” lost his job at the law firm, or “Steve” is in the witness protection program. Matter of fact, she’s the excuse for all of his shortcomings.

When I was still just a cub playing around in the world of adult business, a man could tell me just about anything about his life, and my optimistic nature would cue the violin of symphony.

When eagerly reading into the chords of their past, I would be bombarded with stories of their heartbreak, and littered with negative opinions attached to their “Crazy Exes”-as they called them, those women that led them to a world of heartbreak and into my arms for healing.

*There goes that violin again*

I’d often scratch my head through each fairytale wondering how such a “good man,” could be victim to such an evil slue of “crazy women” with careless hearts and ill intentions.

I’d curse his Exes in conversations with my girlfriends, agreeing with him in many areas I wasn’t truly privy, or there to witness. I’d depart with statements like, “Girl, his baby momma is crazy, he tries so hard to be in his sons life and she won’t let him.” Or, “His crazy Ex tried to accuse him of cheating with his coworker once, when all he was doing was giving a nice woman a ride home from a company meeting at the bar.”

*Shaking my head.*

In my mind, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a man so picture perfect, that it had to be just like he said- his “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” was the mark of all their problems.

*Cue the record scratching sound effect*

Well, maybe it wasn’t so cookie cutter or defined with such a gullible nature, but the fact that remains is that often times when we’re believing our prospect to be such an amazing prince, we tend to forget the idea that if they were so amazing and unflawed, then every ex that was allegedly crazy would have found a reason to lie on someone’s couch and seek help in an attempt to possibly keep him.

As I stated, there are 3 sides to every story, and through the eyes of every participant in a relationship, comes a biased point of view. The real answers lie in the truth.

If a man comes in a new relationship pointing the finger at every Ex he knew, then he’s not taking ownership over his part in the problem, and may be saying more to you about his nature without spelling it out word for word.

What I’ve learned through years of experience is that the Myth of the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has been placed in the equation to create an illusion of said man’s promise of perfection.

But look at it this way, if a person who has crashed several cars, has a strong argument for the idea that each car had an imperfection, maybe you’ll overlook your first assumption, and examine the possibility of each vehicle having engine failure, instead of looking into the idea that maybe the driver is the one with the problem.

Match that up to a man and his red herring surrounding the tales of his shameful ex attributed to the blame game.

Giving us seeds of sympathy, and throwing us off the scent of their indiscretions, makes it easier for them slip in and get us to let our guard down, leaving us vulnerable to the same future moniker as a Crazy Ex Girlfriend when we awaken to the truth and rebel against the negative person that might truly live within them.

I’ll give a few men there truth, maybe they do have a Fatal Attraction or two in their past and somehow lived to tell the tale. But remember, a man who accepts his flaws and understands who he is through his imperfections, doesn’t need to win your heart over with planks of negativity attached to the tracks of his failed relationships.

The objective is to win you over with a realistic and positive approach. So if you embark upon a man who’s “game” is intermingled with continual stories about the wrongdoings of past women, it’s likely a code for his own personal demons, so unless you got an anecdote, I don’t suggest you sign up to drink the poison.

Sometimes the words we speak are hidden reflections of our own self-identity. Not every woman a man dates is crazy, but if “crazy” is the common denomination, then I’d consider looking inside of the man for the answers.

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  • Chuck

    PS: Clearly, you’ve never had a psycho ex you weren’t warned about cost you YOUR job because you weren’t able to head it off. The first time this happens, you’ll change your tune REAL quick.

  • pixie

    I recently read ‘I Hate His/Her Ex’ by Alex Cooper. Brilliant for any relationship problems that are connected to ex partners. Really good book and loads of ways to resolve issues – recommended reading. You can get it on amazon, kindle etc

  • pixie

    I Hate His/Her Ex is a book for anyone having difficulty coming to terms with their partner’s past relationships – brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores – Kindle or paperback!

  • Stephen

    I’m afraid some people just don’t care to try. You completely overlook the narcissistic nature of many of these women. They are “crazy”, but what really strikes us men as a critical blow, is that they are this way because they only care about themselves and what they want – they have no idea or inclination abouy being a responsible person in a give & take relationship. I’m afraid that you will find it impossible to truly understand things the way we do, since you are indeed a woman. Same holds true for men not understanding women….and in some cases, their crazy behavior.

    We are very different creatures, men and women. We may share some common beliefs in principles, but for the most part, our paths in life take us in different directions. That is the truth, and it’s unbiased. Sometimes it is truly that simple. Perhaps a better question to ask, would be why are men usually attracted to crazy chicks lol. As equally important and valid of question could be asked about why many women are attracted to asshole men. The best of both sexes rarely intertwine in this world, because their own instinct draws them to the lesser human. We may not understand that quite yet, but I do have a theory.

    Women like asshole men because they represent strength and individuality. They don’t take guff. They deal with their problems in a manner that they see fitting, and pretty much to hell with everyone else. They represent the most basic of the human male attributes, and they amplify them.

    Men are attracted to women, who, much like the asshole men, do their own thing regardless of what others think (including their spouse). They prioritize themselves above others, and at the end of the day, they demonstrate the same atrenfths and weaknesses that the asshole men do. For that, they catch the attention of men, similarly to the same fashion in which men are attracted to crazy women.

    People are attracted to strength, however, all too often, a primitive strength is overvalued and the things that truly matter take a back seat with logic. That is a critical problem in the human psyche.

    Call it what you want, there’s my opinion.

  • Emma Russell

    I saw Nadezhda Vyacheslav testimony on how she got that guy to love her as she did him.Though i don’t know her, i believed her cos she said Mutton Osun a spell caster help her seen it happen. I didn’t believe her cos she used a spell i believed her cos she made mention of a mutual spell caster i know of that is mutton Osun. I have also see a lot of testimony about his work on the the internet on blog pages and so on. I literally took a lip of faith to contact him and it turn out that it paid off. In my own case i didn’t ask that him to make anyone fall in love with me or ask that my cheating wife comes back. This time i was at fault i messed up.Will really like to say it was an honest mistake or a few hours or days of weakness but then i will be insulting my wife and the love i feel for her. I was in full control of what i was doing i had the choice not to cheat but i still did. She didn’t find out by herself i told hoping if i told her how sorry i am and how much i still love and want to be with her despite my betray she will forgive completely. It was the biggest mistake of my life maybe i should not have told her, i guess she would have still found out if she didn’t catch me then i bet the other lady would have told her what was going on to destroy what me and my wife had. It was obvious my betray really hurt her i could she it in her eye and i was really sorry. That is why i wasn’t so surprise when she asked that we go our separate ways. There and then i realized that i was following the part that ruined my life and my family. I literally lead four month of my life in misery. I have never felt like i needed her like i had felt begging was not an option nothing was an option cos she was gone. It was right about that time Mutton Osun came into the picture or when i asked that he help me get my wife to love as she did before. I was able to provide the items he asked that i get for the spell and send then down to him. Like Nadezhda Vyacheslav said “the spell does become effective at once that ” she was right also cos just after i did what Mutton Osun asked me to do with what he sent me, it took 7 days before anything happened i even thought for a minute that i had met a fake spell caster but in the end i am happy with my wife again. We going to be renewing our vows on the 20th of September. I was on the edge of become a walking dead a woman with nothing to live for thank my star Mutton Osun helped. I will also leave his contact for those who thing he can help them { [email protected] }