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When is it time to say goodbye? When you are in a difficult or strained romantic relationship then people will tell you to leave. They will tell you things like “Don’t stay with that person”, “You deserve better” and so on”. It always seems so easy right? What about if the person who is abusing you is not a friend or a romantic partner but a family member? Not always as easy to rid them from your life. Take Keyshia Cole for example. She emerged from a truly hard life where her Mother was on drugs and had kids spread out in different homes. Kids who each grew up to have their own issues and problems partially because of their broken relationship with their mother.

Years later and Keyshia’s lifestyle has changed and improved drastically. She has also grew as a person and developed in ways that she probably never imagined. So is it now time to let the family members who are not sharing in any type of growth go? What if they are dragging you down emotionally? What if they are placing strain on you mentally with unnecessary drama? This is the dilemma that Keyshia Cole is facing.

She reached back for her family and attempted to bring them with her. For a while it seemed as if they were on the path of inner growth as well. Then somehow, it got halted and the drama ensued. Issues have reemerged and Keyshia’s family has beef with her and feels that she has moved on and disowned them in some way. Allegations of her not giving her nieces and nephews Christmas presents have emerged. It seemed that she was starting to pull away from her family. With the recent letter she wrote about them, it looks like that might be the case. Keyshia seems to think that her family is a strain on her emotionally and while currently pregnant she does not want to inflict that strain on her unborn child.

Is it ever okay to distance yourself from your family? Should you just ride it out to the end? After all, blood is thicker than water. I agree with Keyshia’s decision to distance herself. She has to put herself and child first at this point in her life and I respect that decision. This child will now come before all others in her life and that is the way it should be. Also, sometimes you outgrow people. Now that does not mean that you necessarily should dismiss them from your life completely but I see nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people who bring strain into your life. Family or not. I have even had to make that necessary step for certain family members. So, hell yeah, I salute Keyshia for her strength in relinquishing herself from the role of super save a chick. She has assisted in opening doors to build them up financially and so on. However, any other inner growth has to come from that person. They have to want to do better. That person has to want to grow. It seems as if some of the members of Keyshia’s family are not yet on that path. Keyshia deserves to focus on herself and her child at this point in her life without being attacked by her unappreciative family. Perhaps in the near future they will all come full circle.

Peep Keyshia’s Letter:

For more of La’Juanda “LJ” Knight check her out @ yeahshesaidit.com.

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  • Sometimes you can grow, particularly if you are born in a different generation time frame than your parents and other family members before you. From that, you are able to experience life differently, understand things much clearer, change your behavior, know how to beat whatever system there is or was before you, you basically evolve. The problem is if you inherit or come into success, be it fame or financially, and you are the only one who has evolved in your family, it becomes problematic, because your family is still stuck in the past and their behavior reflects as such. She will always need her family but she does have to live for herself and make a life for herself. Her mother and sister’s have been that way their entire life, so it is extremely difficult to try and take all those years of their existence and erase it and make them anew.

    Good luck KC, but always remember your family, even though they may cause you grief.

  • binky

    Good for Keyshia! I’ am not going to lie to me Frankie and Neffie has so much turmoil and deep rooted issue within themselves that it was bringing Keyshia down! Keyshaia was offering a chance for Neffie and Frankie to grow but they are wrapped up in so much pain and drama at this point in life that they can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And it is tiring trying to help other people (mainly your family) grow and move on to be strong and better people and to break a cycle like that and it wears on you so I can see where Keyshia is coming from. I know this must have been a hard decision but sometimes family is not always the best option and a bright spot, sometimes it is our very family we have to break away from to grow, love and better ourselves because why would anyone want to bring a new child and husband into that world. I get what she is saying she had a hard life growing up and at this stage of her life she just wants peace and stablity. I can’t fault her for that! Like someone said above, she does have a foster family who loves her and support her like she is their very own flesh and blood and they seem not to want to get into the spot light and ask for anything from her. AT THE END OF THE DAY FAMILY IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.