The single life has its perks, and author Tereska E. Haman is set to prove that in her new book Single-licious, for a Lifetime or the In-Between Time. The former vice-president to a worldwide advertising agency found there were many benefits-more than 65 to living the single life. Having spent time alone, Haman admits that it wasn’t easy getting to this point of peace in her life, and she notes that being single-licious starts from within. This isn’t another “how to get a man” book which seems to raid the shelves of popular bookstores. Single-licious is a celebration of self.
We talk with Tereska to find out what it means to be single-licious and to see why she feels so many sisters struggle with being single.
Clutch: What does it mean to be Single-licious?
Tereska: It starts with the single woman but anyone can be single-licious, and there’s no age limit. To me, it’s a state-of-mind where you’ve accepted yourself as a whole individual regardless of whether you’re married or not. It’s about making yourself happy in every aspect of your life. Happiness is not dependent on another person, but rather on you and you alone. A lot of people don’t get that. Being single-licious isn’t against being married or having a significant other, its just that you have to be happy with yourself.
Clutch: It seems a lot of women don’t see the benefits of being single.
Tereska: I know. I have a lot of single friends that are talking about all these good things they’re doing like taking trips, buying homes on their own and getting promotions at work. I also have a few friends who are married with children who wish they had the time back to fail forward and do more of these things. But I also think [the benefits] weren’t ones they realized before.
Clutch: So your friends were a major motivator in writing this book?
Tereska: Friends and family too. I was asked by everyone why I wasn’t married and what about kids, some said I was beautiful, have a successful career and wondered what was going on. That was the negative that was also sort of my motivation.
Clutch: Would you say that you lead a single-licious life?
Tereska: I would say I’m single-licious. It’s taken me a long time to get here. I’ve been in relationships and I’ve had periods in my life where I’ve been alone. That’s kind of where the book started. There were times when I wasn’t happy being single, and I felt that in order to make my life complete I needed to have a man to do so. I wasn’t making decisions that honored who I was as a woman. So, I spent a lot of time finding me. I don’t like to call it my “aha” moment because it was more like a gradual process. I started writing down all the great things about my life; about being single-licious and I wanted to share them with other women.
Clutch: Why do you think some women have a hard time with their single status? Is it the pursuit of the “perfect” life or the fairytale?
Tereska: I think it’s a combination of both. We’re human, so we tend to gravitate towards wanting to have that connection with someone. It’s in our nature. You hear all these wonderful things, and it looks ideal when you’re looking at other peoples lives and relationships, but you don’t see what’s going on behind closed doors. Relationships are hard work. I was at a point where I loved going out by myself, but I think that comes from having a level of comfort and self-assurance that you must have. That takes time.
Clutch: With women achieving so much on their own in many areas of life, I think being single-licious should be a movement.
Tereska: The message I hope to get out is to let single women know to use this time for you. They say things happen when you least expect it, and that’s true if you’re using this time to work on yourself and follow your passions.