He was special. That’s what you told yourself when you gave him your number. He texts you the evening’s typical, “what u doin.” It’s been a over a month and in the interim of bragging to your girls about how fine he is, you ask yourself, “why hasn’t he called?” You become concerned, running that line of chronic excuses in your head.

“Well, maybe he’s busy. It is during work hours.”

“It’s must be a bad connection. He has Sprint and I have AT&T.”

“Maybe he thinks the suspense is sexy. He’s going to call me this weekend.”

Friday and Saturday have passed. It’s Sunday evening. Right after the quintessential Lifetime flick, you work up an exercised nerve to call him. Making sure it’s after 9 standing on your balcony, you leave no excuse to be had around availability and cellular connection.

You’re a bit apprehensive and admittedly agitated. You dial each digit slowly right before you stop to stare into nothingness telling yourself, “He ain’t ever called me. Why should I bother.” You look down at your phone and press call.

1st ring…

2nd ring…

3rd ring (you think of hanging up)…


You feel like a lame. “Damn, he couldn’t even pick up.” Your busy yourself. Deciding that you’ll wash the dishes your roommate left. Just before you retire to bed, you hear your phone’s text alert. It’s him. The text reads, “What up?”

You’re floored. It’s a mere 20 minutes after you called him and instead of returning your call, he texts you.

Ladies, if a man texts you exclusively, this is a major indicator that he has a girlfriend. Think about it. It’s been over a month and you haven’t had one conversation. You’re the type of girl that is fed by men physically and intellectually. You value the opportunity to talk with the man your digging for hours. You understand that if a man truly wants to get to know you, it can’t do it via text.

Here’s another thing to think about, the technology of phone texting allows us to text inconspicuously. Hell, you even make it a practice to text your BFF from the weekly staff meetings you dread. What could really stop a dude from texting you in the company of his girl?

Listen, I’m not promoting paranoia here, but take it from me. It’s only a matter of time before his number finally shows up on your phone. But it won’t be the voice you remembered. It’ll be the voice of his girl.

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  • noor

    i am 26, i joined university to do my masters last Sept. i met a guy there and we selected all our classes together, we really clicked, and spent a lot of time as friends together, things started to change but we never became couple although so many times we were a lot more than just friends! he had bad relations before, so he says he is not ready yet feels safe with me..the reason i am sharing the details is because he never calls! we only communicate through text and of course when we meet..

    i am really confused! i believe he is not ready, i believe he is a good guy, yet something ain’t right :(

  • AF

    Some men have been spoiled by new technology and they have made it a crutch. The guy that I’m writing this comment about is someone that I take a class with. In class he is a charming, sweet, interesting guy, but since we started “talking” things have changed. I do understand that he has had a rocky past, and starting something new is intimidating, but his approach is that of a teenaged boy. We have only spoken on the phone once and all other communication has been by text. I have even gave strong hits in my text about meeting outside of class, but all he says is ” yea we should do that”. Either this dude has NO BALLS or he is playing games, either way I have no time for it. Can’t stand an immature so called man (36)…….very big turn off !!!!

  • JoMama

    Personally I don’t see what the big deal is. Text, call, emails, snail mail, hires a skywriter, who cares? As long as they’re attempting to keep in touch. Some of you go for months without even contacting your mother, but you have a hissy fit if the man doesn’t telephone every day? Please! It’s like some of us women aren’t happy unless we’re insecure about the guy. He may or may not have a girlfriend. He really might be busy with a demanding job. It’s not an excuse and you’re not the center of the universe. Ladies, get a life already and just be glad a man even looks at you!