At only 21, maybe it’s the old-soul within, but many times I find myself questioning a lot of today’s social norms. I often wonder when did it become cool? For example, when did it become cool to let the world into your bedroom? Yes, I know we tend to chat amongst ourselves as women (even then I find myself thinking TMI), but lately it seems like a lot of women feel the need to speak openly about how much they love sex, how good they are at having sex, and all the kinky details in between –especially celebrities.

Of course there have always been female entertainers who are outspoken about their sex life, but now it seems everyone has jumped on the bandwagon. I recently saw an excerpt from Zoe Saldana’s Nylon interview. The headline quoted her as saying: “I love sex and rock ‘n roll. You have no idea.” During a radio interview a few weeks ago, Stacey Dash created a buzz after detailing how she chose her former husbands based on the quality of first-date sex. From blogs, radio, TV, magazines to everyday conversation, it seems there is no wrong place or time for women to discuss their sexual aptitude or appetite. Not sure when this became the norm, but contrary to popular belief, you don’t always need to share how well you put it down (or enjoy putting it down) in the bedroom with everyone. Singers, actresses, whoever, I’m so over hearing how much you get it in, the wildest place you’ve had sex or that ménage-a-trois you’re so down to partake in. Really, it’s all becoming a bit cliché.

And it’s not just celebrities. I couldn’t help but cringe when a friend popped up in my newsfeed for joining a group called “Real women give head” on Facebook. Is it really necessary to send out a status or a tweet detailing a night spent with @somedude, proclaiming your favorite sex position and putting your business out there? Again, when did it become cool? You could argue that a lot of women are just comfortable with their sexuality now. Maybe. But could it also be a cry for attention in some cases? Many female celebrities are so desperately attempting to stay relevant in an entertainment industry and society that has come to promote and consume everything sex that they will do and say just about anything to stay in the limelight. Being the ultimate sex-kitten has been glorified so much that even the average woman feels like she has to take a pole-dancing lesson or two to keep up.

Black women are constantly presented as sexual objects, so why do many of us feel the need to speak like one as well? Celebrity or not, can the classy women please stand up! It doesn’t mean you’re a prude, but that you carry yourself with respect and realize its okay to have some mystery about yourself. Actually, it can be very attractive. I’m sure there are plenty of men who would agree that they like a woman who knows how to keep her private life private. Someone who knows how to be a lady, and allow men to discover the other qualities she possesses. We are all endowed with a natural sensuality as women, so there is really no need to scream it from the mountain top. And for those who choose to, quite frankly, you’re not saying or doing anything new under-the-sun. So please, spare me the details.

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  • Channing

    I wanted to respond to Foster Lee Brown but also put this as a general commentary…

    I don’t think she “missed the point” as Brandi said, at all…

    I am a huge advocate of women’s liberation and one of my biggest frustrations is the women who spend their time complaining about double standards. Not only is it counter productive, it’s never about equal pay in the workplace, or anything like that. It’s always “men can sleep with x number of women and get praised, women sleep with x number of men and get called a whore”

    I’m like seriously? THAT is the most oppressing issue in our fight as women? Really?

    It’s just sad that women associate liberation with sex, we cry about being treated as sex object but do it to ourselves. If we were really concerned with taking back our sexuality we would take it, and keep it for ourselves and the people who are deserivng of that part of us, not brodcast it for the world to comment and pass judgement, then get upset and cry oppression when they do.