Enough is enough! When will the chain of the victimization and alienation of unmarried black women end? If the intimacies of black women’s business must be blasted in The Economist, ABC News and other major media outlets, I call for less number crunching and more real life examples. If I read one more statistic suggesting that I am doomed for a lonely life because black men are my marital preference or because I’m too educated, I’m going to scream. ‘Single black woman’ commentary is unbalanced and its missing a critical voice. Where are the single black men? Fragmented reports on the marital status of black America brings to question the media’s real intentions. What is the purpose of this commentary? For example, The Economist’s stab at the tragic black woman “Sex and the single black woman” doesn’t reveal anything we don’t already know. And while many of us respect Jill Scott’s  candor in Essence, why not have that successful black man weigh in on why he’s chosen to marry a white woman?

The media’s propagation of black women’s relationships comes off as another tool to cause disruption and disconnect in our community. It is undoubtedly an extension of post-slavery mythical stereotypes. The weightless conversation often accompanying the quantitative offerings on black women’s single status is the emasculated ‘Mammy’ evolved. It implies the upwardly mobile black woman is so power hungry and distant that she can’t find a black man to marry – oh and here are the numbers to prove it.

Face it, for every single and successful black woman, there is a single and successful black man enjoying his plate of options, refusing to settle. There are a plethora of black bachelors who are basking in the flip side of black women’s alleged misery. Where is the next late night round table on this topic? I call for more balanced accounts, including an array of black men’s voices discussing what’s really going on. Brothers, it’s your turn.

Photo Source: The Economist

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  • While I have noticed the media on this particular topic countless times, it is lacking the an equivalent male perspective (Side Note: Steve Harvey is not an equivalent male perspective. I’m not downing his experience as he’s been on both sides of the fence, but he’s only recently come to grips with his own relationship issues.)

    Continuing on that note though, the male perspective would be expected to be favorable to this media “assault” on this particular topic simply because it would make them a more valuable commodity/asset as it was stated before. Though this may be the expectation, this is not always the case, there are quite a few Black Men who are still looking for a successful and compatible mate, however there are issues with their perspective as well concerning children out of wedlock, divorces, and stereotyping that causes them to be thought of in certain ways just as this topic has caused Black Women to be thought of as in dire need of finding Black Men.

    What has often boggled my mind in many cases is that some standards that both sexes have set on the other causing for a weeding out of many suitable candidates that would not be considering settling, but rather an upgrade from previous relationships and experiences within the same category. What I think needs to happen from this is the reevaluation of priorities in your mate and stop focusing so much on success as much as drive and passion to make one’s life better.

  • Offthepink

    I’m 30 year old black man, and have far more success with women of other races. If you treat a black woman with respect and courtesy, they just shake their head roll their eyes at you and suck their teeth, like you’re acting silly or did something stupid. If you’re nice, you’re “too soft”. They want a “thug nigga” (with all the problems they entail: infidelity, jail, drugs). More and more often, I’m seeing black women my age becoming more and more coarse-mannered and ghetto, and women too old and overweight (not to mention single and with 2 or 3 kids) acting like they FINALLY got some sense, dropped the thugs, and started looking for guys like me too late. I keep myself in bodybuilding magazine shape, but all the women my age who are (at the time) in good shape have the mentality of snippy 13 year olds, despite being twice that age. The only black women interested in a guy who doesn’t walk around with bad breath, his pants around his ankles, dreads and sucking on a Black n Mild are too old to be my peers or to start a family (of my own, not some thug’s abandoned offspring) with. It just seems the more I look around, that sisters don’t become “tame” until after they’ve been used up and gain a bunch of weight and kids. Who wants that?

    • JCI

      I totally agree, I’m in my forties single with no kids. When I was younger almost all the black women I knew wanted a thug trifling bum. Now these women are fat, used up with several baby daddies and complain about there’s no good black men around. All they want is some man to finance their screwed up life. All the thugs who chased them back in the day have dropped them for younger women or in jail now. To me these sorry women got what they deserve.

  • abc news is of course one of the most reputable news sources these days `:.