The only time I’m really going to care about another woman’s hair decision is if I’m stuck at the top of the Empire State Building, and Rapunzel has decided to get a trim.

But for some reason what’s going on under another woman’s crown seems to be a continual reason for folks to sling mud and get angry.

When it comes to the war on hair, there are three sides to every follicle: natural, relaxed, or fake. And when it comes to any great debate, there are also three sides to every story: your side, my side and the truth.

So while we’re resting from our endless spear throwing from the latest celebration on personal preference titled, An Ode to Tracks, by the talented Craig J.C., I decided to remind us all here at CLUTCH about the third segment in determining a just winner in the bitter war on hair options.

Truth.

And the truth of the matter is, we’re all entitled to our own hair opinion that should be expressed, without scrutiny, under any style of one’s choosing.

With myself being an intermittent child of both the natural, relaxed, as well as the fake hair family, I say this to the world to bring us all to that necessary conclusion…

Mind your own… follicle.

This said with the highest turn up of the nose, and the least amount of care in anyone’s reaction. Why? Because what goes on under my hair dryer is truly no ones business but my own.

It’s important for us to remember that we are not our hair, as India Arie stated.

When you consider the great women in “our story,” that paved the road for our future endeavors, how often do any of us reflect on that superficial bridge between the mind and the hair follicles? Never.

You’re not going to find a post on the Web, or hear a debate in the school yard about Harriet Tubman’s natural hair, or whether or not Rosa Parks wore a relaxer. Why? Because what matters is what they did with their life, not how they looked.

How far can anyone get if they’re worried about what goes on in their neighbors world? How can you excel in life if you’re too caught up in another woman’s hair care regimen?

This is why the idea of “doing you” should be everyone’s main priority. Thus, being a truth and a necessity that should exist within every situation.

Although this is a fact known worldwide, for some reason it’s easier to recite, than it is to actually do.

For hair war junkies who enjoy traipsing around angrily and extinguishing scalps one tress at a time for not fitting into their “hair-story,” the idea of independence has a dual meaning. There’s the side that represents ones freedom in individuality, and then there’s the flip side of that riddle that cares way too much if someone isn’t following their personal hair theories.

Last I checked, people had the right to do as they please. There is no one right or wrong answer as to whether or not natural hair looks better than fake hair, or if relaxed hair is about being ashamed of our “nappy roots.” It’s all apples and oranges, and one should never fear the beauty in an array of mixed fruit.

We’re not living in an era where we’re forced to be a carbon copy of our neighbors. But when we spend more time attacking our sisters for their individual choice in hairdressing, we’re secretly suggesting that life should be more like the film “The Stepford Wives”, where we’re all seemingly the same, meaning individuality should be punished and removed.

I challenge the world to turn the other root, and develop a serious tolerance for our neighbors lacefront, or their individual curl pattern. I encourage a harmony within each lye and a love for every sister with locs. I suggest we all pay more attention to our own reflections, and less time concerned with what goes on in the next mirror.

I think it’s time we devoted more attention to ourselves, and stopped griping about what another woman chose to do with her hair.

Do you and worry about you. …strong medicine, but with a purposeful meaning within each dose.

And above all remember, it’s just hair…

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  • Observer.

    Summer, Ash, Cordi, THANK YOU. Especially your last post Cordi.

  • tafakari

    I agree with this article. I am neither the Nappy Evangelist nor the Relaxer Queen. I think that strife comes when people on two different sides of an issue start trying to project their own beliefs onto others. Live and let live, for real. Don’t go and voluntarily tell an afro chic that your head is too big to wear a fro otherwise you’d do it, or that she needs to perm that crap. And likewise, stop preaching to bob-wearing ladies that all their hair will fall out or that they’re following Euro standards of beauty with a $5 Motions relaxer.

    That said, the fact that this article even had to be written is proof that hair isn’t “just hair,” because I guarantee you, if you type this phrase into Cosmo, Vogue, Lucky, etc., you won’t find it. If hair was just hair, we wouldn’t have an 80-comment thread debating it. It’s obviously an issue we need to own up to. Are there historical reasons behind the overwhelmingly popularity of chemical straighteners? Umm, yes. Are there historical reasons behind the sometimes militant love for natural hair? Ditto.

    Is everybody good now? Can we all go back to doing our hair? :)

    • KC

      good point. The end. LOL! :-)

    • Miss Jae

      I concur with what you have stated above! It’s not just hair! Folks need to quit lying to themselves…

  • Jaz

    Amen i like this article i am def tired people looking down on women who choose to relax their hair. Like i said choose because it is a choice and we can choose to do whatever we want. being natural dosent make you anymore “Black” than the next woman. as long as you know where you come from and you love yourself whats on top of your head does not matter.

  • I know this is an old article, but I must say PREACH, PREACHER! Amen and pass the Blue Magic, good grief!