From Black Voices — Truth be told, we’ve all had a moment where we flew off the handle in a relationship. A time where we straight up showed the person we’re dating just how crazy we can get. I can’t shake that emotionally disturbing scene in ‘Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married, Too,’ when Malik Yoba’s character Gavin fell off the deep end during an argument with Janet Jackson’s character Patricia. While smashing her face and forcing her to drink, the intoxicated Yoba displayed what happens when you act like a fool.
The emotional nudity in that scene with Jackson, Yoba, and a bottle of vodka was strange, but not to be judged. Admittedly, I’m sure many can think to a time where they found themselves totally out of character with someone they love. Whether it was showing unbounded anger or exaggerated anguish — with or without reason — many have reached a time where they have been insanely in love.
These incidents can bring only two results. You either both forgive and finally get to the day where you can “sit back and laugh,” or the relationship becomes damaged so deeply that it ends. To avoid the latter, follow these four steps to recover after you’ve acted a fool.
1. Delayed Apology: After realizing you’ve went coo-coo for cocoa puffs, sometimes the worst thing you can do is apologize immediately afterward. There is something about an instant apology that doesn’t seem as sincere as an apology that is given after time and deep thought. The person needs to know not only are you sorry, but you wholeheartedly understand why you should be.
2. Give It Time: General rule of thumb: the crazier you acted, the more time and space needed for reflection. Time will give both people in the relationship a chance to weigh and evaluate their feelings for the other. Time assists the healing process and can do more help than harm for the person needing forgiveness.