It’s three o’clock in the morning and you’re still awake trying to figure out what to do before you ring the alarm. Soon three o’clock turns into four and four o’clock turns into five, and you’re still not sure what to say or even what to do. Before your juvenile side acts out, you pick up the phone and call your “unofficial” relationship expert because she always knows what to do.

She’s one of the best friends you have, you two are closer than close. You two can talk about any and everything, especially when it comes to relationships. You’re comfortable opening up to her and she’s comfortable around you. There’s nothing better than having a few close girlfriends that can make you laugh and cry, and there’s nothing more special than having this beautiful secret weapon in your arsenal.

There’s no use in crying over spilled milk unless you plan on licking it off the ground—which I highly doubt. I’m sure this isn’t your first time hearing this and she’s the girl who’s told you. Having this go-to girl on your team doesn’t come with a great price because the special bond you two share is priceless.

Please ladies, tell me you know her…

Constantly in-sync. She always knows what you’re thinking. Let’s be honest, most of the time when we call people for advice we already know the answer, but she’s the voice of “reason” we want to hear. You’re great friends and know a great deal about each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities for growth. You’ve shared a lot of intimate secrets with each other—you even know her favorite position in the bedroom. Something about getting advice that you’ve already thought about helps smooth out any situation. This must have something to do with our repetitive psyche. As humans, we’re a very rhythmic group of people by nature. So maybe hearing something you conjured in your head spoken aloud by another individual makes it simpler.

She’s not you. She only has a trivial gauge on how major or minor the issue is to you. Plus, she only knows what you’ve confided in her. She always keeps in mind that she is definitely not you and you are not her. She gives you advice on the basis that’ll you’ll listen. Don’t count on her to constantly repeat herself or even give advice to a numb ear. So you have to listen up!

When giving advice, she knows everything happens in its own respective time. She has more patience about your current situation than you do; but of course. How else could she tell you how to respond to the feared “Can we just be friends,” text message? Everything happens in its own space and time, and sometimes people simply are not willing and able to quickly move to the next level. She has mad respect for that and only looks out for your best interest.

Instructions found inside. She’s the girlfriend who tells you everything is going to be alright. In the wee night hours when your boyfriend is MIA, the sound of her voice makes everything better. Not only does she tell you it’s going to be alright but her words are so comforting that they let you know just that. Unlike your other friends, she’s going to give you a tutorial on how to get over the situation. She knows how to back up her support. Anyone can say, “Oh it’s going to be alright, you’ll bounce back,” but how many of your friends will actually go the extra mile with a tutorial on how to get over it. Experience was her teacher, so she doesn’t mind being your guide.

Don’t ask—she won’t tell. By now, she knows she’s great at giving advice but after a few free “call me now—Miss Cleo” phone calls, you can count on her not to open her mouth. The only way you’ll get her to speak is if you ask personally. Nobody wants to constantly add their two cents, especially without permission. She knows that the most important thing about giving advice is timing. All you have to do is say the words, “Girl, what should I do?” and your free reading awaits.

Straight up she’ll tell me. Being frank is the main reason you call on her. She’s not afraid to let you know if you’re right or wrong. Of course, in the heat of the moment, if you say the sky is green then she’s one-hundred percent behind you—the sky is green. Afterwards, she’s not afraid to give you feedback. She’s cognizant of the advice she gives because it will benefit you and not just show off how much she knows. She doesn’t benefit from this in any way. A good girlfriend knows that lying is never the answer—especially to someone in whom you have a vested interest. When she’s giving advice, you know it’s coming from a candid place.

Your man doesn’t like it. You love her to death but chances are your man isn’t too fond of her. He knows she’s your corner and go-to girl. He’s not necessarily intimated by her but he does keep his guard up around her. He might even go the extra mile to impress her. Yes, she’s that influential. He knows she doesn’t play and she’s serious about her unconditional love and desire for success for you. Don’t be scared to mix the two because it might make it easier for him to see how genuine she really is.

The ability to give advice in a positive, constructive way is truly an art. Maintaining relationships are never easy because we can over-complicate situations.  But with a chick like this on your side, things will be much easier. It’s always good to have someone in your corner who has your back. Not just when it comes to relationships, but other issues we encounter on a daily basis such as work, school, and just life in general. You need someone to clap for you. Having a well-balanced social life helps promote a healthy attitude and fresh perspective on relationships. So maintaining these bonds is essential.

Ladies, if you don’t have a girlfriend like this on your team—stop, drop, and get one now.

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  • Tiffany

    This is the kind of friend everyone needs but must always remember that the bond is only effective if the love is reciprocated. A go to girlfriend can easily become an unlicensed therapist if the good advice and listening ear is always one sided. Another great article Drew!

    • You’re so right- reciprocated! If you come to me, I expect for you to be there for me, as well. I know of the coin too, where people always come to you and never even ask how you’re doing or what you’re feeling. Some relationships can be built around selfishness. I’m not your therapist!

  • Michelle Vaux

    Good read!

    My bff is just like this. I can always trust her and know she’s special.

  • I love my Go-To Girl! We had a falling out about 2 years ago but thru emails and birthdays and other random stuff, we managed to make it through, mending our relationship. We’ve now started a blog together (along with another friend), too. Before I can get an idea out of my mouth she says what I’m thinking literally. I mean even our bodies are in sync, if you know what I’m saying. She lives way in Hawaii and I’m in Texas, but we talk via email and cells just about everyday! I hearts her!!

  • I am this friend and I’ve had a few friends like this over the years. Great Article!