The beauty of a good relationship is being able to act and live freely without ever facing scrutiny—well, maybe in a fairytale.

Unless you’re in the midst of a heightened argument, it might be easier to complain behind your man’s back than it is to tell him to his face what you can’t stand about him most.

It’s no secret. Certain things he does continue to bother you. Matter of fact, those issues ride under your skin like a pulsating artery; how he sucks his thumb at night like a child, the annoying way he mispronounces certain words, or those ashy and calloused hands that he allows to live another day without lotion or hand cream—the same crusty hands that he uses to rub you down every night, that just about peel the skin off of your back every time he touches you.

Ouch! But you get the point.

As small as these issues may seem, they’re simple fixes that can be addressed in passing, yet many of us continue to stay mum. Our silence is the exchange for keeping our honeymoon brewing, and the white flag waving in our relationships. But why fear speaking the truth? No one wants to be the recipient of someone else’s critical eye, but being open and honest is far better than forcing yourself to deal with something that continues to annoy you.

If no other woman will be the bearer of bad news . . .

Here’s a few things women wish they could say to men, but are too afraid to.

  • Unless you’re a tweener, basketball shorts don’t belong under your jeans! Boxers or Briefs are the wears of grown men.
  • If you have a comb over, a front fade that starts towards the middle of your head, or a “peekaboo patch” in the center of the bush, need I say it? You’re balding. Just cut your hair!
  • You can tell a lot about a man’s extracurricular activities by looking at the grime under his nails. Scratch much? Please clean them.
  • Warning: Your love-making isn’t as good as you think it is. Sometimes I wonder why you even smile after we make love, because I’m the only one experiencing the punch-line.
  • God made Listerine so morning kisses wouldn’t cause premature deaths. Use some.
  • Your relaxed fits are starting to look like skinny jeans. Either buy new clothes, or lets both get a membership at the gym.
  • Every time you take off your shoes, I experience smoke signals, yet no one comes to rescue me. A little foot powder goes a long way, my funky friend.
  • There are way too many skincare lines for you to have shave bumps as an adult.
  • Some of your gestures during sex are a bit feminine and can be a turn off.
  • I’ve had better conversations with a television. Can you act more interested when we talk, or make a conscious effort to be more interesting?
  • As if you haven’t heard this before . . . Your mom is pretty mean.
  • Genetics are everything. I’m afraid to have children with you because I’m afraid they’ll turn out looking like your family. I’m sorry.
  • I’m just not that attracted to you anymore.

I know I can’t be the only one with complaints. So, Clutchettes and Gents, what are some of the things you’ve been wanting to tell your mate that you’re too scared to?

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