Picture-1301Million dollar estates, every-other-day-shopping sprees, beautiful fine jewelry dripping from every part of your body, V.I.P treatment everywhere you go, and non-stop lights, camera, and action treatment. This is the life that is associated with the lavish and well-to-do lifestyle of a “Trophy Wife.” Being the support and backbone of a A-list actor, musician, or athlete, leads you to a live a glorified lifestyle.

A couple of weeks ago, I attended an NBA party while covering an event, and that’s when I realized how serious women take this entire “let me get a baller” mentality. Walking in, I felt like I was back in my middle school’s sock-hop, with men on the left and women on right. Women walked in wearing almost nothing, and acting as if they were trying to get picked for a championship dodge ball game where the basketball players were the captains. Women literally were doing everything within their power to just not wave their hands and say “pick me!” I actually heard young lady telling her friend how she could never afford any of this on her own but needs a man who can. Hmm . . . that’s a whole different article: how women want qualities in a man who they do not posses themselves.

In this day and age it’s the new trend to have a role that ends with “Wife.” We have the Atlanta, New Jersey, and Beverly Hills “House Wives” series, the oh-so-grueling lifestyles of the Basketball and Football “Wives,” and even the much-anticipated show, “The Game”—all shows that glorify the idea of the trophy wife, but also give us a peek into the battles that they deal with on a consistent basis. Even though the lives portrayed seem privileged and available to a small portion of the female population, you think twice when you see how money and status means very little when it comes to your peace of mind and happiness.

The extravagant treatment is somewhat unmatchable, but the burden of dealing with your husband/boyfriend in that industry can break you down. From watching different shows, we see that each woman has her own ups and down as she deals with being the background to her mate’s career, fame, and money. One point that they make clear is that you sign up for this as soon as you say “I do.” In certain cases, it’s understood that the man can sleep with groupies and be continually disrespectful to his wife, as long as he maintains the upkeep of his wife’s lavish lifestyle.

Some of the young women have been pulled out of backgrounds where they struggled, and their codependency on their mate is so strong that they will over look criticism, torment, phone calls and constant headaches all to stay in the limelight. This is not to say that all women who are married, or dating, professional athletes, musicians, and actors are completely dependent on their mate. There are women who were extremely established in their career before they entered their relationship. There’s a certain type of confidence that comes with women who know that they can make it on their own and will only put up with so much.

At the end of the day, women have the power to carve out a luxurious lifestyle for themselves. Love comes in many different ways, so if your soul mate is in that industry and you organically fall in love, it can be a beautiful thing. But creating a life and love union based on the desire for a superficial safety net can not only be detrimental to your happiness, but to the happiness of your family as well.

So ladies, is the life of the “Trophy Wife” worth it?

-Ellisa Oyewo

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