“Hey, sexy.”

“Marcus? Are you serious? You stood me up Friday night. It’s Thursday. What the hell do you want?”

“Babe, I know you’re mad. But you gotta understand! My moms called me and she wasn’t feeling good. I had to go sit with her. I was so worried about her, I totally forgot about our plans.”

“Oh…well…I mean, I understand that your mom comes first and I hope she’s feeling better. But why did it take a week for you to call me? You could’ve at least sent a text. I was worried about you!”

“Aww, sweetie, I know. I just been busy. I got, you know, my boss in my ear all the time. Keeping me at work late. Then I was going to Moms’ crib every night. My brother don’t never visit or nothing, I’m the only one. It’s just so much going on, you know? I mean, if you don’t understand that, then it’s cool. I’ll let you go-“

“No! I mean, no…I understand. I don’t mean to stress you out or nothing. I just…this isn’t the first time you’ve disappeared like that…I just wish you’d just text me and let me know you’re okay.”

“No doubt, little lady. Well, I definitely wanna see you soon.”

“I wanna see you too! Um, there’s a movie screening tomorrow night at the school I wanted to go to. It’s free! Maybe we could do drinks before…”

“Tomorrow? Nah, baby girl. I don’t wanna wait that long. I’m trying to see you tonight.”

“Tonight? It’s already 9 and I gotta work in…”

“If you don’t have time to see me, it’s cool. I just thought you was missing a brother and I wanted to come spend a little time with you. Don’t even worry about it though.”

“Well… I’m in the house now, if you wanna come through…”

“Perfect. I’ma stop at my man’s crib, then I’ll be over there.”


Raise your hand if you saw that this conversation was doomed from the second Marcus spoke. Excellent. I wish you all had your hands up, but since I can see that some of y’all don’t…let’s rap. How many of you dolls have been in a position like this before? How many of you knew that you should hang up the phone as soon as you saw his name on the caller ID…yet, you rushed to pick up?

It’s alright. I’ve been there. So has your mama and I bet your cousin, too.

Sometimes, it’s hard as hell to ignore the call of the time-wasting, non-committal, ain’t-that-cute-anyway bum who’s been playing you to the left since the day you met. It shouldn’t be, but it is. He’s charming. He has a great career/future. You have so much in common and would be perfect for one another and if he just thought to spend more time with you, he would see that. So your better judgment goes out the window, down the block and into hiding.

Definitely been there.

Sisters, when you feel that feeling…the feeling that tells you “This man doesn’t give half a damn about me”…then you gotta look past your excitement when you see his number on the caller ID. You have to put aside your desire, loneliness physical needs and/or anything else that can make him all the more tempting. See, often times we go through the motions of “How could he do me like that?” after we’ve been totally used and hurt by someone. But we had all the information we needed before we got played, yet still chose to engage.

The next time you see your Marcus’ phone number pop up on the screen, don’t even give him the chance to talk his way back into your good graces. If you already know what it is, and what it is ain’t worth much…hit the ignore button and save your own piece of mind.

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