Picture this. You’ve been working on a project at work that could possibly make your career. Acing it would garner some much-needed recognition from your boss (or even a promotion), so you’ve been giving your all to knocking it out of the park. In the middle of putting the final touches on your masterpiece, a coworker comes to you and asks for your help on something they should have been able to handle on their own.

Your brain screams, “Hell no, I can’t help you!” but instead you smile and help your coworker out of the bind. After all, being a team player also looks good to the higher ups, right?

Well…yes and no.

While playing nice with others is a skill we all should posses, the art of getting yours…FIRST, is something that all women should have in their arsenal.

Ladies, the time for us to be selfless sisters, wives, girlfriends, employees, daughters, or friends is officially over. It’s 2011, and we’re so off that!

Prodigy of Mobb Deep said it best in “Give Up the Goods,” when he rapped, “I’m out for delfia, selfia P’s not helping ya,” and it’s about time we adopted his “me-first” stance.

Men are often taught to take risks and be courageous and are heralded as ambitious or go-getters if they pursue exactly what they want. But often times, women are conditioned to be humble, downplay our abilities, and help others before we help ourselves. I get it, some of us are born nurturers, but at times, our generous spirit is taken advantage of and we are left helping everyone except ourselves.

But Clutchettes, the time of giving unconditionally without getting is over.

No longer will we stifle our true feelings and conceal our wants/needs simply because we don’t want to trouble the waters. No longer will we repeatedly put others before ourselves. No longer will we be afraid to demand what we need from our employers, our lovers, our families and our friends.

So the next time someone comes to you singing that same ol’ sad story and asking for your help when you really can’t give it, remember what Pauly from “Goodfellas” said: “F’ you, pay me.” And let them know you’ll be happy to help them out, but right now, you come first.

Do you have a hard time putting yourself first? Sound off!

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  • mike

    There is one problem…..how does a woman use this without looking like a “B”….not only to the male co-workers but to other female workers as well. It has always been this way in the eyes of men and women since?….. Only men get praise/attractive points acting in such manner. Unless you use the motto “I didn’t come here to make friends” which could burn you in the end.

  • For all you women who are going to adopt this mentality and don’t take care of yourselves or even your own kids, although I’m sure you thinks you do enough sitting on the couch all day while letting the schools and tv raise your kids, let me repeat the words of Frederich Nietzsche: “The happiness of man is: I will. The happiness of woman is: he wills. ‘Behold, just now the world became perfect!’—thus thinks every woman when she obeys out of entire love. And women must obey and find a depth for her surface. Surface is the disposition of woman: a mobile, stormy film over shallow water. Man’s disposition, however, is deep; his river roars in subterranean caves: woman feels his strength but does not comprehend it.”