So I have this friend (yes, really) and she recently broke it off with a man she’s been dating for nearly four years. From the outside they seemed like the perfect couple—

hardworking, similar crazy sense of humor, educated, ambitious, madly attracted to one other—but in the end, he wasn’t giving her the emotional closeness she needed to feel secure in their relationship’s future. And rather than wait around for him to magically get it together, she moved on.

Fast forward a few weeks after the break-up and we were hanging at the Getty Museum, taking in its picturesque views of L.A. and the Pacific Ocean (you had to be there). We started to wax poetic about relationships/heart-break and we came to the conclusion that one of the best ways to move on from the emotional jujitsu her ex put on her heart was to get out there and jump right back into the dating pool.

If you’ve every had a bad car accident (or another traumatic experience), most people will tell you that one of the best ways to shake your fear and move on is to hop right back into another car and give it one more shot. So why not apply that same logic to relationships and dating?

Recently I saw a very funny webseries (Yes, another one. What can I say? I’m a nerd) that dealt with this very issue, getting over the one who broke your heart by diving back into the dating pool. The series, “12 Steps to Recovery” follows Parrish as he tries to get his groove back and get over his ex.

While it is a fictional tale, “12 Steps to Recovery” explores an interesting premise. So often many of us deal with breakups by wallowing in the hurt, memories, and indulging in the shoulda, woulda, couldas that keep us trapped at home instead of experiencing life and meeting the next Mr./Ms. Right (or at least Mr. Right Now), when we should throw on our best party dress, fix our hair just so, and go have some fun.

So Clutchettes and Gents remember this, the best medicine for heartache is not that pint of Chunky Monkey or that bottle of Red Stripe, but rather getting back in the saddle and enjoying yourself again. Even if you don’t meet the next great love of your life, at least you won’t be home thinking about the fool who let you get away.

What is your best advice for getting over a break-up? You tell us!

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  • The best remedy, For Me, to get over a long-term relationship is to realize that I will mourn the loss of the relationship for a while (and that it’s perfectly normal to do so), long for the comfort of the relationship (not necessarily the company of that person) and get busy, by either getting out there an meeting new people, working on developing a new project, or just hanging with the girls more often.

  • isis

    I agree with Angee. I did the jumping right back in and it resulted in me getting in a rebound relationship, which is totally unfair to the other person. Now, if I had met him when I was in the right mind frame we might be married now. I don’t believe in dragging another person in my emotional mess. Its not fair and I wouldn’t want it done to me, but to each its own

    • Nic

      Agreed. Don’t go looking for an innnocent rebound who may have the potential to develop real feelings for you when you’re clearly not in the place for that sort of relationship. Do what everyone else does and get on to that bucket list, cut your hair, hit the gym, and delete ex’s number.

  • African Mami

    The best advice is talk shit about him all day everyday until there is no more shit left to clean! You do it until you get to that Oprahesque ‘Aha’ moment where you have a bulblight moment of ting! I feel sooooo much better. Make sure that shit talking does not last more than a month, if it goes you are in dire need of professional help. A crazy but very effective method.

  • shalonndramarie

    The best Antidote for getting over a relationship is God and Self Discovery again. We all know we Totally put our all into the man we are with. We want our Relationship to be the Bomb! After the Bomb explodes we are left in Pieces and we have to first find a way to Regroup, That’s Our Father In Heaven, once we get on that track we soon find Ourselves whole again! Try it, I don’t care how long you have been in a Realtionship, it will set you Free Good Luck, God Bless.

  • zy

    you sure i’m not the friend you’re speaking of? i swear, i’m going through the SAME EXACT THING your friend just went through with the same type of relationship… at this point, i don’t even want a new relationship right now. as Isis stated, the whole rebound relationship bit is not something i want to subject anyone to. it’s not fair and it’s hurtful. i’m not one to want to hurt someone’s feelings. i guess i’m just in the process of trying to move forward and enjoy the good things in my life. thankfully, i’ve got a great group of friends with whom i surround myself and hopefully in the near future, i’ll meet someone i want to share myself with. that’s about the most i can do for now…