“Mad Men” television writer and memoirist, Tracy McMillan, penned a Valentine’s Day treat for all the single women. In her Huffington Post article, “Why You’re Not Married,” the three times divorcee enlightens women with six reasons why they have yet to check off that box that says married.
Although I’m over the single lady stories in all its facets- whether it’s advice to single women or women shouting from the rooftops they are happily single- it was so eloquently written I kept reading. But I should have known better. McMillan writes:
But I won’t lie. The problem is not men, it’s you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they’re not really standing in your way. Because the fact is — if whatever you’re doing right now was going to get you married, you’d already have a ring on it.
1. You’re a Bitch.
Here’s what I mean by bitch. I mean you’re angry. You probably don’t think you’re angry. You think you’re super smart, or if you’ve been to a lot of therapy, that you’re setting boundaries. But the truth is you’re pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it’s scaring men off. The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here’s what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn’t think so.
Did she really just give women the Kim Kardashian angry detector to compare their behavior to? Need I go any further? Oh but I will. Jumping to number three, McMillan writes:
3. You’re a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore — but they’re not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you’re having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long.
How classy. I know every woman doesn’t get down with the f word- feminism. But for me this article had too many anti-feminism notions I don’t subscribe to. However, if you eliminate feminism altogether, the article is still rather crass. Nothing on the list applies to me per se, but it was still offensive to women overall. I’m really tired of everyone telling women why they aren’t married, why they can’t find a man, there is something wrong with women, be a lady in public, but turn into Karrine Steffans in the bedroom, don’t be so aggressive, your degrees won’t keep you warm. Enough already!
I would totally have expected this article to be written by a man. But are women really this unconcerned about spewing such vitriol to other women? I just don’t see how this article is helping unmarried women get married if that is their goal, even if this list applies.
Several women thought the article was hysterically true, co-signing every word. I’ll proudly say I am not a part of that group.
Are the “self-help” type articles for women actually helpful? Does McMillan have a point or was she completely out of line?
What say you?