Meeting the parents can be very daunting. Not only do you want to make the very best impression possible, but you also want your partner’s fam to accept you, and hopefully give you their seal of approval.
If you’re hoping your relationship lasts longer than a season of Undercovers, then getting the approval of the ‘rents can be a make-or-break step. But what happens when your man’s mother hates your guts?
Yesterday, as I watched the latest episode of Love & Hip-Hop I began thinking about how deep mother-child bonds can affect relationships.
While most women say they want a man who treats his mother with the utmost respect, they’d also be quick to point out that they don’t want a “mama’s boy,” or rather a man so connected to his mother he is unable to break free from her influence.
On last night’s episode, Chrissy proposed to her long-time boyfriend Jim Jones. Although most of those in attendance were happy for the couple, there was one very important person that was not a happy camper—Jim’s mother.
During the party that Chrissy planned for the proposal, Olivia spoke to the cameras about Nancy Jones’s—Jim’s mother—possible reaction to the proposal. Olivia summed it up saying, “Jim is Nancy’s man, basically. Nancy doesn’t want anybody else taking that position. And if Chrissy goes into that slot…Nancy is fin’ to be upset.”
And boy was she ever.
As Nancy threw a fit about not being included in Chrissy’s surprise, I wondered how many mothers hold onto their children, especially their sons, so tightly it stifles their growth.
Chrissy and Jim have been together for years. Despite the fact that Jim has openly expressed his love and adoration for Chrissy, his mother still seems suspicious of their union. Although I could be wrong, my guess is that Nancy doesn’t want to “lose” her spot in Jim’s life, so she’s throwing shade at his potential wife.
I’ve seen this scene play out in real life time and time again. Parents, especially some mothers, vehemently object to their children’s partners simply because they don’t want to be “replaced.” For so long many of these parents have relied on their children to be their companions, friends, and confidants and are afraid of losing that bond, so they go to great lengths—talking trash, planting seeds of doubt, being outright disrespectful—to make sure the relationship crashes and burns.
So far, I have yet to experience a mother on a mission to hate me, but I know it can happen. When and if it does, however, what’s a girl to do?