I have been avoiding writing about the Mister Cee incident like the plague. Not only do I think it’s none of our business if he was caught receiving a sex act from a prostitute, but I also think the blowback over the fact that the sex worker was apparently a man should only be cause for concern for Mister Cee and his wife.
However, as a writer and someone who loves to engage in good conversation, when situations like these occur I can’t help but wonder what—if anything— it means to the rest of us.
Recently, writer and filmmaker, dream hampton wrote an opinion piece about the firestorm that erupted over the Mister Cee incident. In her piece, “Mister Cee What You Started,” hampton aims to expand the conversation beyond the normal homophobic chatter that typically occurs when a self-identified heterosexual man is caught in a compromising position with another man.
As expected, the Internet and Black media outlets all over the country had a lot to say about Mister Cee’s alleged impropriety. While New York’s Power 105.1 morning show host Charlemagne Tha God wondered why people were still so homophobic in 2011 (while telling/taunting Mister Cee to “be free” and playing Diana Ross’ “I’m Coming Out” in the background), his counterpart Angela Yee took issue with men on the down low.
“I believe that Mister Cee’s sexuality is a personal matter, one he must reckon with himself and his wife. But Charlamagne’s co-host Angela Yee took the position widely held by heterosexual women—that closeted bisexual men are a health hazard, exposing trusting women to AIDS and more. While I’m not dismissive of those concerns, particularly in a marriage, where condom use is expected to be abandoned, I do know that we heterosexual Black women don’t exactly offer safe spaces for bisexual men to express their desires.”
Well damn. I think we just got called out.
While I agree that many Black women haven’t exactly created welcoming spaces for bisexual men to “come clean” about their feelings, neither have most men. We live in a society that embraces (and even celebrates) women who “go both ways,” but men who are just as open with their sexuality are deemed nasty and untrustworthy.
In conversations with my girls (and other women), I’ve asked them if they would ever date a bisexual man and have been met with the “are you crazy?!” face nearly every time.
After they share that they’re just not attracted to men who enjoy sexing other men, their biggest fear is usually about diseases.
While concerns over promiscuity and the spread of disease is real, I do not agree with the stereotype that the spread of HIV/AIDS in our community falls squarely on the backs of bisexual—closeted or otherwise—Black men.
Preventing disease is about accountability and responsibility. If we protect ourselves more, and know our statuses, then we can stem the spread of the disease. However, shaming men into being unable to freely express who they are (or might be) doesn’t help us get any closer to healthy relationships or healthy lives.
But what do you think, Clutchettes and Gents? Would you date a bisexual man?
Let’s talk about it!