Recently, we announced that along with freshening our look for the Spring, we would be implementing some cool new changes. One of those changes was introducing our #DearClutch column.

#DearClutch is your space to get advice on your most difficult dilemmas. If you’re struggling with a problem or situation and need a little bit of objective guidance, shoot us an email and maybe we’ll share your question with our beloved readers.

Now, our first #DearClutch question comes from T, a reader who’s having a little drama with her boyfriend’s mother. Let’s see if we can help her out Clutchettes!


I really need advice. I can definitely relate to this article here. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We live together and are expecting our first child in about 5 weeks (!) I thought his mom liked me but she was very rude and disrespectful at my baby shower last week. I asked her to help out with buying food and she did but she showed up 40 mins. late to help set up and immediately found her a seat and sat down. Uh, hello! Hell, if anyone should have sat down, it should have been the sore back, swollen feet pregnant lady (me!) lol, but I digress. Anyway, she came in rude… didn’t speak and constantly over-talked me the whole time. I guess she thinks its ok because this is her first grandbaby and she has spent a lot of money on the baby as far as helping us out. I appreciate everything she has done, but you can’t put a price tag on love. And it certainly doesn’t make up for her always having something to say. I swear I was about to lose it but thank God, the shower was at a church lol. Please help! I want to get along with her and keep the peace but she works my nerves.

Dear T,

First of all, CONGRATS on the new baby! Now is the time to relax and get your mind right for what’s to come: Being a mommy!

Now, onto your boyfriend’s mother. Before the shower did you have any problems with her? From your question, I assume things were kosher until she showed up late and hogged the spotlight on your special day. This gives me hope!

If your boyfriend’s mother hasn’t been acting out before, then perhaps her baby shower performance was a one-off. But if this incident is just another in a line of subtle (or not so subtle) disses, then it’s time to have a talk.

Your boyfriend’s mother may not be aware of how she made you feel at the shower, so talk to her about it.  But be careful not to sound as if you’re blaming her. Make sure that your words to her are filled with “I-statements” (I felt like…Saturday made me feel….I didn’t like it when…) so she won’t be put on the defensive.

Hopefully your talk will help clear the air and make way for an awesome delivery day! If your boyfriend’s mom still doesn’t get it together, however, then talk to your man…maybe he can get through to his mother.

What do you think, Clutchettes? What kind of advice can you give T about her boyfriend’s mother?


*Got a dilemma and need some advice? Shoot us a #DearClutch email and we’ll try to help you out!

Like Us On Facebook Follow Us On Twitter