Those of us who grew up in the post-women’s rights, hip-hop generation were raised to think we could have it all.

Many of us grew up knowing that one day we’d get the degrees we wanted, marry the love of our lives, have some babies (or not), travel the world, and still have a banging career. We’d be fulfilled personally and professionally, and still look absolutely fierce in the process.

Although some have been able to achieve this life, several of us are finding that our ideal lives—our ability to “have it all”—comes at a high price.

When I was younger, I also had these same visions of grandeur. I planned on being a 21st Century Claire Huxtable, replete with a handsome husband, a house full of kids, and a powerful career. However, the older I get, the more unrealistic some of things seem. And while the visions haven’t quite died, they have definitely undergone a major renovation.

Sure I have my degrees (and the student loan debt to prove it), a good job (that I lowkey hate), and a child (only one, I’m taping out!), balancing these things not only leaves me feeling completely worn out and overwhelmed at times, but they aren’t as much fun as I once thought.

The older I get, the more reflective I am about my life. While I love a lot about where I am in this moment, I definitely need to adjust my definition of “having it all.” I’m no longer concerned about a “powerful career,” but rather one that fulfils me and truly utilizes my gifts. And I no longer dream of hearing the pitter-patter of several little feet; my son, in all of his five-year-old glory, is more than enough.

Adjusting my expectations to fit my real life instead of my ideal life has definitely helped me enjoy where I am right now while I work toward the future that I want.

But what do you think Clutchettes and Gents…can we really have it all?

Let’s talk about it!


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