“There’s always more joy to remember than things we want forget.”
That was the line that passed through my head as I laid with my back pressed into my couch. It weighed on me heavier that it had the first time I heard it, sitting upright at a prayer meeting in a velvet plum lined pew.
That night, I sat alone in my row feeling much the way I had years ago when having a whole row to myself meant endless reign. It was a busy week but I was on top of things: family unharmed and healthy, career goals steadily moving forward and new relationships flickering with stove like clicks. Every once in a while there was a week like this: line em up and knock em down.
If only they’d always repeat.
The next week was not the track I expected and none of the notes seemed to make the sound I thought they would.
Monday: “Les, daddy threw his back out.”
Tuesday: “Ma’am, we can’t find your application here at all.”
Wednesday: “Babe, I’m just not sure if dating is the right move right now.”
By the time Wednesday night prayer meeting came back around, I was already on my knees. Too tired to go claim a pew, I went straight from work to my couch and did what I always did when the day felt like it was heavier than my Tina Turk tote. Laying there, I remembered that line from the mouth of a woman who looked like she had had a week from hell, running in her head a few months over. She was talking about how even with losing a job and seeing her husband walk out the door, there was always more joy to remember than there was pain.
I had never thought of the balance being that way. But she was absolutely right about it. No matter how many weeks there were that felt like lead, there were more that felt like fresh air. Remembering that balance, I’m working to remember to clear some space for the better moments even when the tough ones show no sign of backing down.
Today, remain vigilant about letting thoughts of doubt linger too long. Remember for all the thoughts you’ll fight to forget, you’ll always be finding ways to clear space for the memories you’ll love to keep in mind.