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After years of being out of the dating game, I recently returned only to find out that things have apparently changed.

A few months ago I met a man while I was out at a lounge. After dancing all night, he came up, chatted me up, and asked for my number. He was cute and funny, so I thought, “What the heck?” He ended up texting me on the way home, just to make sure I made it safely, which I thought was sweet. The next day he called and we made very loose plans to hang out…soon, but nothing was set in stone.

Big mistake.

Over the course of the next few weeks we played phone and text tag, hung out once, but never actually went on a date. Each time we’d talk, I’d push him to set concrete plans, but he’d just suggest I come to his house to “hang out.” Suspicious of his motives (why wouldn’t you want to go OUTSIDE?), I deleted his number and brushed it off as one of those things.

But I guess he didn’t forget about me.

Recently, dude’s been reaching out and this time it seems he wants to go out. Last week he asked if I wanted to see a movie, but I already had plans. After deciding that I’d give him another shot, I sent him a text the other day saying I wanted to see the new Tribe Called Quest film and asked if he wanted to go with. His response? “It’s up to you.” Umm, ok. So I asked him what time or place would be better for him. Again he says, “It’s up to you.”

While I enjoy being in charge sometimes, I operate under the impression that if you asked me out, you should be the one planning the festivities. Or…is that not how it goes these days? And…what happened to men taking the lead sometime?

Clutchettes and Gents help me out here. Is dating dead or do people just need more practice?

Let’s talk about it! 

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  • MaryJohanna

    Men are the new women. Jus sayin’

    • Lmfao. I think you’re right.

    • La

      I’ve been saying that to my friends for years. It’s true.

    • Isis

      Basically!!

    • Preach!!!!!!

  • fuchsia

    We are in the age of technology, and going through a recession. Dating is unofficially reserved for couples now. All you really get is a chance to hang out if you wanna get to know someone better. I guess it gives people something to look forward to and it ensures you spend money on people that actually matter to you. These are hard times. lol

  • African Mami

    I just took notice of dude’s hair….Please gentlemen, never spot such kinda hurrrrr on a date, it’s absolutely revolting! The end for realz!

  • Lori

    A lot of men do not know how to date. There is so much bad information out there. You may have to be patient with the lack of testosterone out there.

  • Are You Serious Bro

    The old way of dating is dead, and men like me are killing it. Old school is not working, it needs to be adjusted a bit to fit in modern times.

    I don’t spend a lot of money on first couple of dates. The first few dates should be about getting to know the person, and should not be about where you are going but what you are talking about while there. Nothing is wrong with chilling at the park or getting ice cream. This view in itself has weeded out a lot of the pretenders from competition.

    If you want a great(in some women terms, expensive) second or third date, you have to qualify for it. That means more then just being there and being carried along for the ride. I am not about the to spend out the a$$ for a woman who may not even be worth it in the end. Yes it is like the Olympics out here now. Too many women(and men too) feel that their body is worth filet minion and a lobster dinner, but at the end of the day their mind may only be worth a McDonald’s Dollar Menu item.

    In the words of former 49ers coach Mike Singletary, “It is more about them, then it is about the team. Can not play with them. Can not win with them. Can not coach with them. CAN’T DO IT! I want WINNERS. I want people that want to win” LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB5-yJM3vJc

    • hm

      this is why you’re single

    • Are You Serious Bro

      Why because I refuse to pay for a woman who is not worth it or up to par? It would be foolish of me to give a woman who has proven herself not to be of any quality, the same benefit and luxury that a quality woman receives.

      I am pretty sure the quality woman will feel wonderful knowing I am giving her the same treatment as the town’s hoe and local gold digger.

      If the women I meet choose not to date me because I wanted to setup one or two small preliminary dates before going on a large scale one, then I say I am dodging a huge bullet lol.