Let me preface this by saying I’m 5’11” tall, a size 20 with 42DDDs and size 12 feet, 11 on a good day. I’m black, I rock my 3c natural fro and and definitely love my body. I gym it up, I love Greek salad but I can go to town on some mac and cheese too. Overall, I like to consider myself big and sexy. So I’m sitting on my floor in my new apartment watching the premiere of TLC’s new show Big Sexy. And I’m torn, really I am.

I want to like this show and I’m so glad to finally see plus size girls rocking the reality TV circuit. However, from the advertisements for the show, I was under the impression I was watching a show about big women who owned and rocked who they are. Instead, I was giving a group of women that lamented about not being able to find a man. Not only did they complain about not being able to find men, they blamed their inability to find men on the fact that they are plus sized.

Now, I am single. I am single because I work 60 hour weeks. I have a solid group of friends that I like to spend time with when I do have time off. And frankly, I know what it takes to be a good girlfriend and I just don’t have the time and energy to invest in a relationship like that right now. I’m not single because I’m plus size.

However, the women of Big Sexy, would have me think so. Tiffany spends 98% of her screen time complaining about how men are never attracted to her because she is plus size. The ladies go to a “BBW” party and are complete turned off by the dating prospects. To be fair, I was as well. But what did they expect by going to a party with a thunder thigh competition? Then, during speed dating, Tiffany verbally assaults a guy within the first two minutes of meeting him. At the crest of her rant, she informs the poor guy that his skinny future wife will end up fat one day. Tiffany, please sound more like the “skinny bitch” hating, cheeseburger inhaling monsters that popular culture depicts us all as.

Is this the image of plus size women I want on television? I mean, I am already borderline embarrassed to be black from the 30 minutes of Basketball Wives LA I watched on Monday. Do I really want the general public thinking that all plus size women only hang out with other fat girls, only socialize over food and only spend their free time talking about how confident they are while oozing insecurities.

I am really hoping the rest of the season is not about finding boyfriends for the fat girls. I am not falling off the Big Sexy bandwagon right now; I’ll give the series another couple of weeks. But if I really want to watch women feel insecure about themselves and only gain self-worth and confidence from male approval, I’d head down to my local college bar and watch drunk girls make out with each other for the attention of subpar frat boys.

I can only hope that Big Sexy turns out to be the show that I was promised. A television show about confident plus size women working hard to advance their careers in the fashion industry while having fun WITHOUT worrying about finding a man and NOT by hating other women for being smaller than them. I feel like size acceptance should go both ways. And if the women of Big Sexy have no intention of being confident and secure about being big and sexy, then I have no intention of allowing them to be my big, sexy leaders.

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