From New Black Man/Mark Anthony Neal —  I was too busy raising my two daughters, aged thirteen and eight, to pay much attention to Amber Cole, but the truth is that Amber Cole is my daughter and the daughter of so many of us.

Unlike Jimi Izrael’s recent suggestion, I have not seen the so-called Amber Cole video.  That so many have—and in the process downloaded and trafficked in illegal child pornography—speaks volumes about how we, as a society, think about Black girls. For that reason alone, Amber Cole is my daughter.

I suspect that for far too many, who have voiced displeasure and alarm about Amber Cole, and or the parenting skills of the adults responsible for her, it is less about real concern for Cole and more likely about the collective shame that she evokes.  Unfortunately it is such shame, and the politics of respectability that go hand-in-hand with Black collective shame, that often keeps us from having honest discussions about sex and sexuality in our communities—often to the detriment of our children.

Ironically, this shame is seemingly always directed towards the women and girls in our communities and rarely extended to the men and boys who are complicit in sex acts.  It goes without saying, that in the case of Amber Cole, such complicity is indeed criminal; under the law, a 14-year-old cannot consent to sex acts.  Too often our conversations with our boys is not to discourage underage sex acts—indeed such acts viewed as a rite of passage for boys—but rather, to caution them about impregnating a partner, whether she consents or not.  Few have mentioned rape in response to this case, the reality of the act over-shadowed by the resentment and ire that Amber Cole has drawn from many.

As such there are some who will claim that Amber Cole’s behavior is the product of slack parenting, single-parent households and the continued erosion of values within Black families.

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  • KingJason

    Honestly on the one hand I can feel sorry for her but on the other it bothers me to see so many excuse her and try to criminalize the boys. These girls are not demure little innocents they are as wild or more so than the boys.

  • storm

    only in the black community can child pornography be produced,watched by hundreds of thousands and trafficked and all people can think of is how much the girl is a whore in it…maybe black kids will be more of a target for kiddie porn in the future because its not like anyone will really care… right?

    • EssDot323

      So true. Lots of sad nigger trash in our community.

    • I agree with you 100%.
      I also feel like ,and this isn’t about blaming Amber,but this should be used as an example for young black girl’s.We -black women and girls-cannot afford to make these kinds of mistakes.

      The person who mentioned that had Amber been white Twitter would have taken the video down is totally correct.We all know that those boys are going to walk away without any form of punishment.Amber is being ripped to shreds and black nor white seem to care.WE cannot afford to make these kinds of mistakes!

    • Jasmyne

      Yeah.. I mean, i’m not much of comment, although i read the blog daily and i must admit that the level of misogyny in the comment section of this blog is disturbing.
      People commenting on this subject with the only purpose of embarrass the victim of crime, Amber, and by extension, strengthen the hatred toward black woman.

  • dani


    Amber Cole is not even her real name. The twitter page is fake.

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