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Nia Long is already a proud mother of her 10-year-old son, Massai Jr., and is expecting her second baby with boyfriend Ime Udoka this fall. The actress recalls when her dream of having a baby in her 40s was consistently shut down by her doctors. She tells Ebony that she was told she may never be able to have another child, but she had faith that she would conceive again.

“I honestly asked God for this.”

“I remember I was driving home from the doctor, and I called Ime, and I was like, ‘Babe, I’m really kind of sad right now … the doctor actually said if I wanted to have more children, it would be hard.’”

“The next time [Ime] came to visit, he said, ‘I don’t believe that.’ I said, ‘You don’t?’ He said, ‘No.’ And I said, ‘Good, me neither,’” she recalls. “Then I got pregnant.”

She is over-joyed about the little bundle of love growing inside of her and she offered this advice to unmarried women in their 40s who want to have children:

“The medical [profession] tries to tell every woman, ‘Have your babies before 40 because you shouldn’t have children after 40,’” she says. “Society tells us, ‘Get married before 30, because no man wants a woman after 30.’”

“You are not half the woman you’re gonna be until you turn 30. You’re not even half of that woman yet,” Long explains. “So I think if we’d just take our time as women, and do what comes natural to us and for us, we would make fewer mistakes.”

Congrats to Nia on her little miracle. What do you think about her advice?

 

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  • “I honestly asked God for this.” Yeah cause the good Lord is all about the baby mamas.

    • me

      exactly! smh…

    • binks

      Agreed, I think people need to stop bringing the Lord into things where it just makes no sense from a religious stand point, she is basically saying God okay to two people living in sin and having a baby…blank stares.. Hell if that is her choice to have an nontraditional relationship with her partner fine, I don’t have a problem with it but she should have stated it a lot better because she left herself open for that criticism

  • Simone

    What is sad to me is she can have kids….1 kid 10 years ago and now another kid now.

    She can give her kids the respect of being honorable, but not her partner? Sure, we as women can have kids all day long…..but to have a serious, long-term relationship says more to me than having 1+ kids in the name of independence.

    I expect better from my sisters…..this is getting WAY too old of a story. Children really need to stop being accessories for single women.

    • isolde

      Where do you get off calling Nia’s child an “accessory” because she’s unwed?

  • Olivia

    42 and still on baby-mamma status? EPIC FAIL….

    • Pink

      Olivia: Good point….by age 42 you would think that we’d know that it’s not cool having a baby without a husband.

  • I’m conflicted about these types of situation…as I get older and want a relationship less & less, I’m starting to think about how I’ve judged “baby mamas.” While I don’t really want children, if I ever did, is it a MUST to have a husband in the picture? Since I’d never have a child I couldn’t financially support on my own, do I necessarily NEED a husband in the picture?

    At the same time, I see it a bit differently for women who are in relationships with men, having babies with them, and not married. THAT, to me, seems like a lack of committment from one party to the other (whether its the woman or the man). If you’re going to be with someone and actually create a life with them, what’s the hesitance in getting married?