The holiday season is upon us and while we all can’t wait to be with loved ones cracking jokes, reminiscing and being grateful we all made it through another year, some parts of the holiday season are no fun at all. Here are three reasons the holiday season can be downright scary.
Yes we love it and wait all year for it, but those special dishes grandma makes, and those pies auntie puts her foot in, will scare the hell out of you come the following week when you’re staring at an expanded version of yourself in the mirror. Sure everyone gives tips on how to eat healthy over the holidays, but let’s be honest, it’s damn hard to resist the temptations of foods you really only see once a year and quite frankly, when it comes to my grandma’s pie my will power is shot. #Fail
Your Womb Comes Under Attack
I know there has to be a few readers out there that will feel me on this one. You work so hard all year long at school, getting that promotion at work, keeping a roof over your head and just living a healthy, productive life, but the minute you step through the door alone…again, with out a child….still, your family forgets all about your hard work and begins wondering what the hell is wrong with you. They want to know why you don’t have a man, if you’re a lesbian (yes my grandmother asks EVERY year), if they can fix you up, how can you be happy when you’re old and have no kids, blah, blah, blah. It makes you want to just snatch the glazed ham and hide under your comforter.
The holidays always brings family out the woodworks that you haven’t seen since Jennifer Lopez was still living on the block and these family members are always the most annoying, nosy and down right rude characters in the bunch. They always want to be in your business, jumping on the “Why you ain’t married bandwagon” or letting their bad ass kids tear up your ish, and when the night is done, they’re also the ones packing up the most food to take home and feed their tribe as if no one else wants a plate. You end up spending the night imagining yourself slapping the piss out of one of them (cue Mama Braxton) and tripping their kids. When the night’s over you sigh in relief…until you realize at some point you’ll have to do it all over again.