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It’s the way I shake, insides trembling, back arched, sighs released. There’s nothing like an orgasm to remind me of the power of sexuality, our bodies’ relationships to sensuality, and the innate gift of being a woman with a vagina. Female orgasms are God’s gift to women. When pleasured right, we climax harder, longer, and more frequently than our male counterparts. We can feel vibrating energy from our heads to our toes. We simply get more from making love.

I don’t know when women got duped into believing that sex was for men. But there’s enough women sharing their bodies with partners that aren’t invested in the joint experience of sex. These women have become the vessels of male pleasure, vaginal walls gifting bliss without reciprocity as an expectation.

Orgasms are powerful. They relieve stress. They release body tension. They incite moments of happiness. They ripple with strength. They flow softly. Orgasms give us life.

It’s tragic that orgasms have become a mythical occurrence, as the majority of contemporary women rarely experience them. Sex without orgasms is the equivalent of an Earth with no seasons. It’s impossible to appreciate the depth of sexual pleasure without a variety of sensations.

There’s a widespread belief that men are benefactors of female orgasms; that there’s a need for male talent in the bedroom in order for women to experience orgasmic pleasure. A woman’s orgasm is in her hands first and foremost. It’s her openness, willingness, and concentration on feeling the moment and allowing pleasure to flow through her body. She can’t be thinking about shame, hang-ups about her body, and the status of her relationship with her partner. She has to put herself first, blocking out all the noise and voices that make her feel unworthy.

While partner-shared orgasms are excellent, masturbation is the best tool for women to explore their bodies’ orgasmic spots intimidation-free. When there’s no one watching and we don’t feel like we’re under our partners’ gazes, we’re often more open, more willing to see just how far and hard we can let go. We welcome in pleasure, and have room to receive it. We become our sole focus.

The more we orgasm, the more frequently and easily we’ll experience them. When we train our bodies to respond to various sensations, thoughts, and strokes with orgasmic energy, we’ll find sensual bliss as a recurrent gift in our everyday lives.

After letting go of my fears around sex, putting my pleasure first, and experiencing back-to-back orgasms on a regular basis, I’ve found that my stress levels have decreased, and I genuinely feel stronger as a human being. I’ve learned that the power of an orgasm goes beyond a moment of shaking and euphoric energy spreading throughout my body. Its impact lingers. It allows me to reconnect with an aspect of femininity in its most natural state. And it has taught me that some things in life you’ll never master, as I keep learning more and more about the depths of pleasure.

What’s been your experience of orgasms? Do they exist as a frequent part of your life? Or do you experience them on rare occasions? Share your stories. 

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  • What can I say… I’ve wanted more people to speak out about this for awhile.

    Thanks so much for this Arielle.

    The direct benefits are to women, sure, but more happy, stress-free women contribute to a happier, uplifted society. We *ALL* benefit.

    I am a huge supporter of anything that spreads happiness (and legs :P) – keep rockin’.

  • Rachel

    I have always believed that women possess a greater capacity for the experience of pleasure-in general. God did indeed bless us to have equipment that is amazing. The clitoris has thousands more nerve endings than a penis. Thankfully,I’ve been having orgasms: both vaginal and clitoral, and multiples since I was a teenager. They have only gotten better and better! I don’t know what the secret is, but, part of it is being comfortable in your own skin, understand your own body and being honest about what feels good to you, and being with a partner that cares about your pleasure (among MANY other qualities).

  • Ashlee James

    I’ve never experienced an orgasm with a partner before, only through masturbation. I often feel like there is something wrong with me and I fear being judged by the men that I’m with because I cannot climax with them. Hopefully this will change when I meet the right one. Until then, my fingers will do just fine.

    • It will change, Ashlee.

      It’s already done, you have the right attitude, and now you just take a breath and enjoy life until it all unfolds for you.

      Good for you for sharing and aiming for what you want.

      Happy New Year!

  • Srenda

    For women who have trouble having an orgasm but can have one on their own:

    Try masturbating while you are with your partner. Use your partners hands to touch your genitals, breasts, or even your hand, especially once you are having an orgasm. Just make sure they are touching you in some way. What this does is connect “having and orgasm” with your sexual partner so that in your mind they become part of the experience The key is to for awhile at least make masturbation or mutual masturbation until orgasm part of your one on one sexual activity. You can even do this instead of having intercourse sometimes. Masturbation with a partner is so great because it can help relax you and not rely on them 100% to give you that orgasm. If you find that you aren’t having an orgasm during sex, oral and otherwise, but you are in the moment still feeling so good, pause, roll over with a smile (or stay in whatever position you happen to be in) and do it yourself bring yourself to orgasm then start having sex again soon after. You will be so sensitive down there, more relaxed and possibly more able to have an orgasm with your partner. Have fun practicing.

    • Ashlee James

      This is good advice, thank you!!

      I think that many of the men I’ve been with in the past would feel uncomfortable with me masturbating during sex because then they feel like something is wrong with them because they can’t “get the job done” themselves. They feel uncomfortable, then I feel more uncomfortable – just a viscous cycle!

      Clearly, I’ve been having sex with all the wrong men! *grabs vibrator*

    • Srenda

      lol, that’s right, enjoy yourself!

  • Nikki

    I have multiple orgasms every time I have sex, sex is 90% mental, if you relax and you want it and you truly love sex it will come. I get orgasms from penetration, from foreplay, from oral sex, from just simple breast play. I cannot understand the concept of no orgasms, my sex life is great, I believe in pleasure and so it comes.