I know a woman. She’s twenty-something, successful, educated, driven, caring, positive, beautiful and jealous. So jealous it makes her look ugly sometimes. This woman is not jealous of material things; she makes more than enough to buy at least some of the things her heart’s expensive taste desires. So what is she jealous of you ask? I’ll tell you – L.O.V.E. Yup, this otherwise successful woman is jealous of love. Every time one of her friends or family members gets engaged, pregnant, has a date night, receives a sweet text or gift or just plain looks content in their relationship, that ugly little monster rears its head. And she doesn’t even know that she’s jealous. I’ve heard her cry over a man that was clearly not for her, finding love. I’ve listened to her ramble on and on trying to convince herself (she thought she was convincing me) that she was genuinely happy for family and friends who announced engagements. I listened to her preach the teachings of Steve Harvey and declare that his words were going to help her find the love of her life. I personally have even tasted the light salt she threw my way every time I would tell her I had a good date night. It’s to the point where as the days and months pass that she is without the type of love she seeks, she comes across more like the stereotypical angry black woman, than the amazing woman she really is.
I along with a few friends have tried to throw in our two cents on how she can get some good loving, but she always brushes the advice off or modifies it so it fits the same old routine she’s used to. Even when she was dating someone and discussed with us some issues he brought up to her about their situation, our crew gave her tons of ideas on how to handle them in a way that would work for both of them. No dice. Now I won’t ever claim to be an expert on relationships; Lord knows I’ve had my share of hot mess relationships and situations…trust me. However, there are solutions for almost every problem and if you’re going to sit around secretly (or not so secretly in her case. She thinks we don’t notice…but umm, yea) jealous, sad and bitter about not having your own slice of the happiness pie, shouldn’t you at least be open to the positive advice of your friends?
Recently I’ve started cutting back on talking to her about my dating life because when I’m happy I want to share it with people that are genuinely happy for me. If something good happens, why shouldn’t I be able to share it with someone who is supposed to be a friend? It’s almost kind of sad in a way to not be able to talk to her about this new and exciting part of my life, but negativity breeds negativity and I refuse to let any of that mess into my world.
Do any of you have jealous friends and if so, how do you deal with it? Is it even possible to have a true friendship with someone you can’t share important parts of your life with?