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That time of year is here…again. You know the time. When all of your friends are planning Thanksgiving dinners with their significant others and picking out Christmas gifts, while you’re home…alone. The fourteenth of February isn’t the only day that single people magically become aware of their status. There are constant reminders year round, with the holiday season just adding on extra weight from turkeys and candy canes, to go on top of those feelings of loneliness and despair.

I’m here to tell you that you’re not actually alone. I know, I know. That didn’t exactly make you feel better. But, isn’t it nice to know that you’re not the only person at home in your footed pajamas watching Bridget Jones 1 and 2, followed by Brown Sugar and Love Jones? Maybe it’s just me. Sometimes I find solace in sitting in front of the television, trying to figure out when I fell in love with hip-hop, and what I’d do if someone performed spoken word for me in a smoky nightclub. Or, what it’s like to play a game of one-on-one basketball for another person’s heart.

If you’re not agreeing with me by now, then maybe it really is just me. But, just in case it’s not, I’d like to share with you some other things that you can do to get through the lonely nights and party of one dinners:

1.Volunteer. It’s a great way of helping yourself and someone else at the same time. It’s quite a gratifying feeling to know that you made a difference in someone else’s life. It could be something as simple as donating old clothes or serving food at a local soup kitchen. Be selfish and generous at the same time. Help someone else while you help yourself.

2. Learn something new. There’s nothing like feeling accomplished. Whether it’s learning a new language, finding a new hobby, or figuring out how to make that apple pie that you love to eat, learning is a great way to keep your mind active, boost your confidence, and even make new friends.

3. Buy yourself something. One major plus-side of being single: one less person you have to buy a gift for. Instead, buy yourself something. I’m sure we can all think of at least one thing we secretly want to splurge on. Those shoes in your cyber shopping cart, or that winter coat that refuses to go down in price. Just click ‘order’ or take your butt to the mall after work. Doesn’t hurt to look good for yourself. You deserve it, beautiful. (Okay, that was just a little cheesy.)

4. Take breaks from friends in relationships. Not to sound bitter, but it can get a little annoying to constantly be around friends who are always talking about their man problems. They tend to forget that you not having a man is a whole ‘nother issue. Sometimes it’s nice to be around other single people, or just … yourself.

5. Enjoy your own company. Ann Richards once said: “Learn to enjoy your own company. You are the one person you can count on living with for the rest of your life.” It’s nice to not have to always rely on someone else for a good time. You, yourself, can be the party! Figure out what you like and dislike. Learn how to entertain yourself. If you can’t enjoy your own company, why would someone else want to?

6. Remind yourself that your soul mate is out there somewhere. I’m sure he’s either stuck in traffic or trying to decide which pick-up line will work best to win you over. Regardless, he’s out there. He may not be perfect. But, he’ll be perfect for you. Until then, just do some of the things that I listed above, and pray that he won’t mind watching Say Yes to the Dress.

– Jasmine N. Salters

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  • The Diva

    OMG this article was so on point and so needed. Every year around this time I go into panic mode trying to serial date and every year its a epic fail LOL. Glad to know there r people who are single like me out there and understand my pain.

  • This article was telling the WHOLE truth, there is something about this season that shines the spotlight on the empty seat next to you. Your tips are great. I was actually thinking of doing some volunteer work this holiday season. I recently just wrote a similar post about the same topic, check it out at ebonymaiden.com.

  • B

    Great article! Truth!

  • Mya

    I feel like you just read my mind. Going to try some of these tips. Thanks girl.