I’m not the easiest to deal with when it comes to compromise, I can be extremely stubborn and like things my way or the highway. I can be as stubborn as Foxy Brown is about letting go of that damn Lugo’s Wet and Wavy #1 she’s been wearing for over ten years. People, I can be dead wrong, but just so you don’t get the satisfaction of being right or feeling like you won, I will argue to the death and hold no punches! Fortunately with my last relationship I didn’t have to show my ugly Taurus horns, he was very good about willingly meeting me in the middle about things and our differences were often squashed rather quickly, but what’s going to happen when I eventually run into a situation that a man and I can’t come to a mutual agreement on?
I was watching a re-run of True Life:I’m Ending My Marriage recently and a couple on the show, Tryce and Wendel, were looking to end their marriage for several reasons, but the reason highlighted on the show had to do with her going to a local swing dance club. Tryce felt that she was lacking attention at home and decided to try swing dancing to fill the void. After her husband declined to be her partner because he didn’t like to swing dance, she decided to go alone with friends and dance with the men there. This led to her going out to lunch one time with a gentleman she met at the club and of course Wendel was furious and wanted her to stop going to the club. This is where the debate begins.
Tryce’s side is one, she wants attention and he’s not giving it and two, why should she have to give up a hobby that she loves. She’s asked him to join and he said no; does that mean she can’t go either? Wendel’s side is that he gives her attention and that this time it was just lunch with another man, but it could be more the next time, so he does not want her to go there anymore. He also feels that as a wife and mother her focus should be on her family and not going out to some club. Now there are WAY more issues going on with this couple than some swing dancing…trust me. Their segment on the show was just pure ghetto, ignorant foolishness, mostly on her part. The scene where she bleaches his clothes was just a hot ass mess; however, the stalemate they were experiencing on the swing dancing issue was one that many couples can relate to.
Couples go through arguments like Tryce and Wendel’s everyday on various levels, and while communication is supposed to be the key to solving most relationship dilemmas, let’s be honest, in the heat of battle the rules often get lost or straight thrown out of the window and the simplest of arguments can get heated and serious quick. So what do you do? How do you meet in the middle when no one is willing to budge?
How do you determine what fights are worth standing your ground and risking your relationship for and what fights are not? How do you work towards compromise?