With a hit film, new album and a baby in tow, it’s easy to imagine that life for Robin Thicke and wife Paula Patton is full of excitement, and a fair share of stress. The release of his 5th album, Love After War, demonstrates that Robin continues to draw from his 18-year old relationship with Paula to compose some of his most compelling work. In a recent interview with Essence, Thicke spoke pretty candidly about Paula’s impact on his life, and the impact he seeks to make on Paula – in the bedroom. He shared his thoughts on being a part of an interracial family, and explains why White men may not be the ideal “fall-back” for Black women (who’ve had enuff).

When asked If someone saw him whispering in Paula’s ear, what would he most likely be saying: ‘I can’t wait to get you home and love you up for two to three hours.’ I like to try to get her into double-digit orgasms as much as possible. It doesn’t happen all the time, but when I’ve got my mojo and my swag, it happens. Every few months it’s just like bam — repeated. Repeated! I like her to just be going crazy in the bedroom.


On Paula’s sexiest quality, the singer admitted: It’s her intelligence and her strength. I’ve never met a stronger person who stands by their will and their moral values. She is such an amazing human being. Ever since I met her and we were 16 years old and she was the president of the Black student union and I was just a silly White boy who didn’t understand or have compassion.

I had no animosity, but I just didn’t understand the Black experience in America and how different it is — and most White people can’t. You can’t understand it until you are with somebody every day and you have a child that you know is Black, you then understand that, wow, what a different experience Black people and in particular Black women have to go through.

I have a song on my new album called, “I Don’t Know How It Feels to Be You,” and she and I were in the middle of an argument and she said, “Robin, no matter how hard you try, or how compassionate you are, you’ll never know what it’s like to be a Black woman.” So I got up and I wrote this song in five minutes. The lyrics are: “I don’t know how it feels to by you, though I try my best to understand what you’re going through, I don’t know how it feels to be you. I can’t walk in your shoes. But, I’m trying baby. You know how much I love you.”


On making influential music & his aversion to White women: It’s actually the best thing. It’s nice if you can make someone drop it like it’s hot, or pop a bottle. But we’re always dropping it and popping it. What I realize about the difference between me and my peers — you know, Chris Brown and Drizzy Drake and all my musical peers — is that they haven’t been with the same woman for 18 years and I’ve been with a Black woman for 18 years. I’ve never dated a White woman. Don’t want to. I’ve never been on a date with a White woman. When you have that relationship and that means the most to you — you know I can’t live without that woman, she is my muse, my best friend, and my creative partner. I didn’t have a great relationship with my mom and she didn’t have a great relationship with her dad and we became that for each other. She’s my mama and I’m her daddy. I even call her mama and she calls me daddy. We are that to each other.


Regarding Black Men, Robin was asked: The media often tells Black women that they’re better off dating White guys. What’s your response to that? I think that’s ridiculous. There are so many good Black men out there that are hardworking, decent, and handsome, you know? To start that rumor is as bad as starting any other negative rumor. There are great Black men out there. There are only a few good White men — trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends. I’ve got 20 Black male friends, who are all good men who take good care of their wives, and good care of their children. I know amazing Black men. Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love.


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  • Jen

    This was sooo stupid.

    First of all, Paula is not black. Nor does she even look black, really.

    Second of all, this whole interview sounds like a kiss-ass to the black market. I mean it’s a little sad, really. Robin should let the emotive strength of his music stand on its known. No need to talk about how “dumb” white people and particularly “boys” are. And how he has no interest in white women in particular. Yes, you love your wife. YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE! That’s fantastic. Talk about the longevity of your marriage to this woman, not the longevity of your marriage to this black (not really black) woman!

    • Geena Romano,NYC Staten Island

      Jen, paul is not white hun,she is mixed, and she is a BLACK Woman.
      Robin is a cutie pie,the white girl goin off on him above omg chill. it is not really that a serious JMHO.

      and again paul lovely self is a sistah.
      is black. bi-racially BLACK PAULA, is, just like me and my family.

      see my pix on facebook geena romano,from staten island ny i am mix black gorgeous
      mom in her seventies.as my father italian all sicilian still married 54 years! strong. and in lov, just as i see robin cute self. very talented robin thick and paul being married much longer.

      i am happy for them! lol Even if he should have maybe not said well i do not like or
      i m not into dating ,or”i’ve NEVER”date a white woman wow”i mean ok that is to each their own,but it is after all freedom of speech,so i support his comment even if obtuse

      and again we are all HUMAN will all BLEED SAME IF KUT,and i m hatin the “hate”on this
      great singer, smooth EXTREME-in love wit his black and bi-racial lovely wife,and kid
      leave him off.

      life too short to stress out over it.

      WHITE MEN OR BLACK let them switch on WHO TO DATE LOL we all goin to one day
      leave earth,hence life is way too short to be soundin the way some commentary is here
      sounding… ENJOY your wife,or fiancee girlfriend any racial bkgd. i preferably have date
      Sicilian like me,and few black no biggie,it is really again who i m prefer,and click wit.
      and god speed to us all.

      from geena romano

    • S. wilson

      Well said!

  • Jen

    But seriously though, who told this guy that what black people want is a self-hating white man? Newsflash, Robin: THAT’S NOT WHAT BLACK PEOPLE WANT. Black people want white men to be comfortable with who they are as white men, and just not hate/be racist towards black people. Examples: David Bowie, Brad Pitt.

    He overstepped the line.

    • WhiteWoman

      BRAVA JEN! Well said.

  • AustralianGirl

    I’d love Robin to give me one of those ‘double-digit orgasms’….

  • S. wilson

    Get a life! The fact that you left a name like white woman in short is pathetic. I’m bi-racial and I see nothing wrong with his comments. The fact is that he is happy. I loved reading the piece. Maybe if you spent less time judging, you could be happy too ;)