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So last night like many of you I was laid out enjoying a night of mindless reality television before I had to return to work and what better way to veg out than by watching VH1’s Love & Hip Hop. As you already know, Jim Jones finally proposed to his long suffering girlfriend Chrissy Lampkin at the end of the episode…..or did he? Now correct me if I’m wrong but what he did was show up in Miami unannounced, get cursed out a bit, then shove a box and ring in her face while asking her to marry him.

We’ll just ignore the fact that they were technically already engaged because she proposed first. We’ll also ignore the fact that the ring may have simply been what Chrissy refers to as a “painkiller” since what Jim really wanted was peace and what she was really doing was brow beating him into marriage. But I digress.

Anyway, through the tears, Chrissy, box in hand, took a seat, took her ring out of the box and asked Jim to put the ring on her finger. Voila! Proposed to and engaged. But hol’ up, hol’ up, somethin’ ain’t right! In my Martin voice. What happened to the down on one knee part? You mean to tell me after 7 years and all that foolishness, not only did he not get down on one knee, but he had to be told to ring her and the whole ‘proposal’ was really him shoving a box at her like “Here, take that.” That can’t be life?

Maybe it’s just me, but when I envision a marriage proposal I see a man so overcome with love that he, on bended knee, professes his love for his lady and asks her to spend the rest of her life by his side. Now mind you, I completely get that Jim Jones isn’t exactly the mushy type, but can a sista get a knee bend after 7 years?? Even if he got on his knee and said “Yo, Chris, I know I be putting you through some ish, and I know you sick of me and want us to settle down and you know I agree. You been riding with me mad long and I ain’t never gonna find a lady that’ll hold me down like you, so yo, let’s do this marriage thing. Ya heard me!,” that would still be better than him just standing there and shoving a box in her face.

But then again, does how he proposed really matter? When it comes to marriage so many of us get caught up in the fairytale of it all. We want the prince, the horses, the romantic evening we can gush about to our family and friends later on. However, even when we get that fairytale, the reality of marriage ends up being far from a happily ever after. So what Chrissy didn’t get a candlelit, flower filled, on one knee proposal. He still surprised her…and he still proposed. How he did it shouldn’t be the barometer for how much he loves her or whether or not the proposal was sincere. Some folks get the fairytale and end up divorced before the ink on the papers can dry….Kim Kardashian anyone? In the end all that really matters is that Chrissy got what she wanted, a lifetime with the man of her dreams and whether it cam on bended knee or not, it was a fairytale to her.

What did you think of Jim Jones’ proposal? Would you have said yes?

– Danielle Pointdujour

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