Ask any woman if she has high dating standards, and nine times out of 10 she with enthusiastically say yes. She even may run off a list of accomplishments she’s met (educated, good job, well-traveled) and say she wanst a man who has done the same, but many times, while we may demand damn-near perfection from our partners we end up settling for utter foolishness.
This morning, I was reading a post about giving “passes” in relationships and if people would actually give their partner a one-time pass to cheat. After listening to radio callers debate the issue, what the writer found was interesting:
The very idea is absolutely ludicrous to me, as it was to many, but there was a small percentage that said they would or had taken advantage of this…and surprisingly, both were women. The men emphatically stated, NO, they wouldn’t give nor take a hall pass, which further cements that when a man REALLY loves a woman, he doesn’t want to share her. The women, however, seemed to be gravitating toward this “tolerance” in order to fulfill an idea that it’s what a man would really want or what would happen anyway. It really made me think, while some women are bargaining and lowering their standards to get/keep a man, some men are actually holding themselves to higher standards and giving that to the women who demand it.
Lately, I’ve been in several conversations with men and women about relationships. I’ve had several men attempt to lay the responsibility for their questionable behavior at the feet of women saying, “If y’all would demand better, we’d step up.”
While I’m not totally convinced that simply “demanding better” from trifling men would magically turn them into Prince Charmings (I definitely called b.s. on that), the principle of setting high expectations and actually sticking to them is valid.
How many times has you or your friend claimed you’ll never let a man do X,Y, or Z, only to look up and be in a relationship with a man doing exactly that? Why is holding ourselves accountable to our own standards such a difficult task?
Despite wanting to be loved, respected, and appreciated, many women who claim to have high standards find themselves experiencing the exact opposite. But why?
Do you have high dating expectations? Are you holding potential partners to them?