When it comes to relationships and pleasing a man, I am a proud cosigner of being all things at all times….to a man that deserves it of course. By this I mean I will gladly live up to the old adage “Lady in the streets. Freak in the streets.” The problem is there are so many women who don’t live this way. We’ve all got one. That friend who’s so concerned about maintaining her mature, adult, respectable demeanor that she is clueless on how to let loose for her man. She’s so stiff and caught up with being miss perfect that even when her man is throwing her clear signals that she needs to spice it up, she can’t let go and lose control. That friend that will constantly ask you for your advice, but never takes it.  Yes, we all know this woman.  Hell, some of us are this woman.

Now don’t get me wrong, sex isn’t supposed to be the only thing that attracts a man to you or the only thing that gives him the incentive to be faithful.  Of course a man should respect and appreciate your maturity, independence, intelligence, good heart, etc.  But let’s be real, men and women put sex high up on the list of things that are important in a relationship and I don’t know about you, but no matter how smart, funny or intelligent you are, if you can’t put it down right I might just pass and find my kicks elsewhere.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a lady for your man, but you can’t just be a one trick pony. What else do you have to offer?  As women we have to learn how to use all sides to ourselves.  We have to learn to be all things to our man, just as we expect them to be all things to us.  Women need to learn how to be the chick he can bring to the corporate functions, the good girl who makes the homemade biscuits he can bring home to momma and granny, the hood chick that’s comfortable around his boys from the old neighborhood, the voice of reason and ride or die he can come to and lean on AND his full blown freak who always screws like a porn star while wearing cute shoes and takes it all with a smile. We also need to learn that it’s okay.  It’s okay to let loose and step out of character a bit and that in no way does it demean us or take away from our good qualities. Personally, not only do I strive to be a lady, I strive to be HIS lady and any other lady he wants or needs me to be…so whether it’s at work, around family and friends or behind closed doors with my man, I’m always a lady. I’m also his jumpoff and freak whenever he needs it and even when he doesn’t need it.  I am all things to my man.

It seriously irks my nerves to hear some women talk about what they won’t do for their man or how if they do certain things their hair will get messy or the sheets will get sticky. Here’s a PSA…it’s sex, it’s supposed to be messy!  This isn’t a pageant or some kind of beauty competition; this is sex with YOUR man.  A man you claim to love, claim is good to you, claim you will do anything for, but instead of enjoying the moment you’re worried about your hair?  Again, it sex shouldn’t be something you use to keep a man, but ummm, you know what they say.

Honestly I can’t understand the issues some women have with spicing things up in the bedroom.  When did we decide that it was disrespectful or taboo to get our freak on with the one we love?  When did we become so prudish and repressed?  No, you shouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but come on loosen up a bit!  I say from this day forward, it’s a new day. The next time your man reminds you that you’re his lady, turn to him with a devilish look, say “Yup, and I’m your freak too,” then, handle your handle with a smile.


Are you a bit of a prude in bed?  Why do you think some women are uncomfortable with their freak time?

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  • I am definitely comfortable with my sexuality and I agree that you shouldn’t be out here selling your goodies for the whole world to see (even though, if it’s known that you have no issue with your sexuality and you’re a woman, you’re viewed as a whore). Being a woman it’s like you’re damned if you do, damned if you’re don’t.

    If your sex game is on point, men will think “well, how did she get all of this experience?” and if it’s super wack you’ll look like a prude that needs to learn a thing are two (some men are patient with women like this others will skip out).

    I honestly believe that a lot of women are uncomfortable with their sexuality because of society. It has conditioned us to think that we should keep it hidden and if we don’t we are whores. It’s just like going number 2 and farting, women are NOT supposed to do that.

    It could also stem from a self-esteem issue due to past experiences or your body but for the most part women try so hard to hold on to that quaint image of being untouched because after all most men don’t want a woman that has been all over town.


    It could be from not knowing your body well enough to know what you do/don’t like and what feels good. And in many cases, having too many sexual experiences with people you really weren’t comfortable being intimate with to being with.

    I think it’s kind of sad to see. I have friends that have flat out said that they do not like sex.
    Being comfortable with your sexuality as a woman is liberating, if you’re not, you’re missing out!


  • StacyAustralia

    Lol. This is article is so on point, however these comments are interesting. It seems some women get all worked up when the suggestion is made to loosen up a little. It’s not that serious. No one is saying go out and become a whore. The writer is only saying live a little and let your hair down some. Enjoy your man be open to show him your wild side.

    • CaliDreaming86

      Instead of telling people to loosen up a little, try being more understanding.

  • marc

    ppl are more than the sum of what they will/won’t do in bed, at work. for a spouse, with a spouse, or to support a family. It sounds heroic to say “I’ll do anything for you….” but it shouldl not be confused with I’ll do ANYTHING TO you” Sex has it’s placem but we spend most of our lives do regular, everyday type stuff…. Okay so for example, “I’ll finsih ny Master’s degree (for you”) is a little different from “I’ll work at the car wash for you” but both of them speak to stuff that working men do…..

    now there are a lot of “boys” that pretend to be hard, streetwise, or whatever, but can’t imagine regular work just to buy groceries, pay rent, orpay child support…let alone to be there day in a day out for thier child–they live in their moms’s basement….

    so, yeah pick a guy out who gets you off, but understand how narrow a slice of (horizontal) life having good sex is. WE spend most of our lives outside the bedroom….Will that sex-you-up-fool finish his education and get a real job for you—- AND #$%& your brains out?

    Will you do the same and be a real mom after you go to school too? Nuthin sexy is going on when you don’t have someone who is well rounded…or when you aren’t someone who is well rounded…in the streets, in the sheets, or in the LIBRARY