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On Monday night’s episode of “Lala’s Full Court Life” they touched on a topic that many women can relate to – when is the right time to have a second child? Whether the first baby was planned or not, deciding when to bring another buddle of joy into the world can be a stressful one depending on your situation.

I have learned from speaking with various couples that there really isn’t a “right” time to have another child. The more you think about it and analyze your situation, the more reasons you will find to wait. In Lala’s case, she felt pressured to have another child because her IUD was about to expire (a form of birth control inserted into the woman’s uterus that can prevent pregnancy for up to 5 years), her adorable son Kiyan keeps asking her for a little brother and her age. Her gynecologist told her that women do indeed have a biological clock and the longer we wait to have another child, the harder it is to conceive. Not to mention that women of a more advanced age have more physical complications when pregnant than younger women. On the flip side, her career is really taking off and she doesn’t want to risk having to forgo all of the opportunities coming her way due to another pregnancy. Some may say that thinking about your career more than expanding your family is selfish, but to each his own.

When it comes to bringing children in the world I believe the only things that should matter are (1) are you able to financially take care of another child and (2) are you able to give that child the love, care and attention that they need. There is nothing worse than having a second child who you don’t have time for and they end up feeling neglected. You have to know yourself as well as what you are capable of offering another baby. Although Lala is married to Knicks player Carmelo Anthony, for the most part she is juggling taking care of Kiyan, the home and her career by herself because her husband is constantly on the road with his team. If she is barely keeping her head above water with one child, having a second one right now may not be the best thing.

Her mother and best friend, Kelly Rowland, did touch on the topic of not waiting too long to have another child because she doesn’t want the age gap between her first and second child to be too big. Her mother also said that she doesn’t support households with only one child because it is unfair to the child. I understand this because I have friends who don’t have any siblings and confessed that they were lonely growing up. This then opens up a bigger issue of if you should put the wants of your child before your own.

There are a plethora of things to consider when thinking about conceiving again, but don’t think too hard because you will keep finding a reason to wait and that second child may never enter this world.

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  • Anon

    i think Lala moms view of having only one child because its unfair to the child is the dumbest mess i have ever heard in reference to bearing children. this is my opinion how is it unfair to the child? is the child paying for this other baby? but that aside i am really side eyeing this “unfairness”. 1st) what about the couples who only want one child? 2nd) if anything not having only one child should have to do with teaching them. i know they all arent like this but EVERY SINGLE only child i have ever met is selfish, inconsiderate and spoiled. They never really learned how to share, are use to it being all about them and getting everything they want. i repeat i KNOW every only child isnt like this just the ones ive met.

    i know about this age gap issue however what time is right for some people or what may be considered too long may not be for others. i know siblings who are 20 years apart and they never really hung out, got along, because the age gap is 2 vast. im not sure if a parent is thinking about that though

  • Miss September

    I concur with @ Angie . I think some people don’t put a lot of thought into having kids.
    You are stuck with them for 18 years , so its better to wait and not be ready ; than
    to have them and not be ready. Once they are here you can not take them back .

  • MsZMC

    Every only child I know admits that it’s lonely and wish they had that experience of having brothers and sisters. I think it’s something that we take forgranted. Theres nothing like the bond of siblings even if its rocky, they always seem to stick together in the end. My mother is an only child and now that she is older and doesnt hang out with her friends who are all settled down and don’t have many cousins she wishes she had a brother or sister. Heck, I wish I had an auntie and an uncle….

    Me and my brother and sister have laughed, cried, loved, lived, played, grown, gotten into trouble, fought each other or fought others and so much more together. I def want my children to have that same experience and family.

  • Sue

    I wonder if there is a cultural explanation for “only children” feeling lonely. This may not be the case for those who grew up with a supportive extended family.

    • Leo the Yardie Chick

      As an only child, I used to feel very lonely while at home – until I turned 12. Then I realized how good I really had it. Plus, I was being raised by a single mother with a strained income; I really couldn’t expect her to pop out another one just so I could have someone to play with.