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Rule #1 is to always have your homegirls’ backs. It sounds so simple and maybe it is: nobody is going to put my friends in uncomfortable situations on my watch, and if something goes down in public and my friend needs to flee the scene, I’m certainly going with her. But what happens when your friend is the one causing the havoc?

Some people are always putting at least one foot in their mouths. Just the other night I attended a small get together and the topic turned to Whitney Houston. One girl interrupted the somber tone of the chat to declare that Whitney was a crackhead. When the room fell silent in disapproval she failed to pick up on the social cue and repeated her statement, not realizing that we don’t talk about Cousin Nippy like that yet, and probably never will. Her sole friend in the room turned beet red and tried to change the subject. I’m not sure even that helped.

On the extreme end of things, you could always draw a hard line in the sand and end a friendship completely over reckless behavior. Your girl has a few drinks and starts speaking a little too freely, flirting a little too crazily, and stumbling way too haphazardly (there’s no such thing as the right amount of stumbling), and it’s generally not a good look. Shoot, a time or two that person has been me, but how far is too far? I helped a friend pick herself up after an unceremonious drunken public fight with a crazy ex-boyfriend, and although it was an ugly, embarrassing moment, we’re still sisters. But the one friend who had the habit of getting so drunk that she’d slap strangers and throw drinks on them, whether they did anything to her or not? She is no longer part of the circle. I’m not out here auditioning for Bad Girls Club.

What’s your threshold for sticking up for the embarrassing behavior of your friends? What do you do about it?

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  • Ocean Blue

    Nearly all of the time I hang out alone, so I haven’t had this issue really.

  • mamareese

    If she knows better than to act like this, call her out on her foolishness and exclude her from fuctions. A group of freinds were invited to a wedding one time and she made the bride cry clowning her dress. She knew better so we set her right out…we’re too grown to be acting like school children. And she has missed several functions and gatherings since then due to her actions.

  • Alexandra

    I had a close friend of mine that was a loud one, no matter if she was talking about something personal, offensive, etc; she always spoke about it loudly. She didn’t understand the concept of whispering. She pissed me off one day when we walked into a Thai restaurant and she saw construction workers eating there (smelling like paint) and said: “Eee there’s mad Messicans in here”, then she proceeded to talk about the lack of Chinese food on a menu of a Thai restaurant (talking loudly). I only hung out with her a few times after that. The second time, she wanted to talk to me about her first oral experience on public transportation. Everyone was looking at us, because they could hear her.

    My solution is simple: don’t hang out with them, especially if you’ve felt embarrassed more than once. You can still talk to them though.

  • peaches

    call them out on it.. don’t try to act better but let them know stop acting out..

  • melissa

    I totally relate to that,dealing with classless women who don’t know how to act,it can be so embarassing.For me I had an aquintance who was so loud and brash .Talking about porn and other things in public loudly, desperatly trying to get a reaction out of someone I quickly dropped her from my circle of friends.Rembember ladies BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER. If your not trash don’t hang out with any!!!!!!!!!!!!!!