There are a few things that are inevitable in life — death, taxes, and men trying to holla at you while you’re out and about. No matter how you look, how you’re dressed, or where you’re headed, men will go out of their way to talk to women they find attractive. And while most women will agree that they appreciate a man who has a quality approach (Respectful? Funny? A gentleman? Yes!), there is a thin line between street harassment and properly spitting game.

So, for all the fellas wondering what exactly we want (because we know you’re reading), I decided to drop a few jewels to let you know what to do and what not to do when you step to a woman.

DO Introduce Yourself – In the heated moments leading up to approaching a potential mate in the wild (*Animal Planet’s narrator voice*), as simple as manners may seem, many men have forgotten them. Don’t be that guy. Mind your manners by respectfully introducing yourself and asking her name. If you’re the hand shaking type, reach out and give her a firm grip — not one of those sucka-like soft shakes. Make good eye contact, and give her a little bit of info about yourself (nothing too deep, of course). But never make her wait until after you’ve asked for a number to try to find out what your name is. That’s an automatic fail.

DON’T Whistle, Holler, “Aye Shorty,” “Damn, Baby” or anything of the sort – unless you’re Cam’ron, there’s really no excuse to be addressing a grown-ass woman who you don’t know as “Hey Ma” in hopes of getting to know her better. Cat calls are sooooo reminiscent of the late 90s/early 2000s; it’s time to step your game up. Besides, do you really want to get to know a girl who easily accepts offers from a stranger who whistles at her from across the street and waves “come here”? If so, I see where your mind is — the gutter — and you probably want one thing — my cheeks. And what is it with dudes Up North referring to females as “sis” and abusing God’s good name in their attempts at getting the number. Example: “Damn, sis, you looking real good in them tights though. God bless you! You should let me take you out.” Ummmm, negative. If I’m your “sis,” you will not be taking me on a date. Furthermore, leave God out of this, ok?! Amen.


DO Give a Genuine Compliment – A sincere compliment is almost always a good way to break the ice, getting a girl out of defensive mode. It also shows that you’ve taken note of a detail that, perhaps, she didn’t know was so prevalent. Comments about a girl’s smile, scent, or hair — though flattering — can be pretty common, so switch it up! Instead, let her know that you noticed that one dimple in her left cheek when she laughed, or that the notes in her fragrance remind you of that amazing trip you took last year. Be creative. It’s impressive.

DON’T Make Her Feel Like a Piece of Meat – One of the worst things you can do within moments of meeting a woman is let it be known that you’ve already undressed her with your eyes. Sure, she already knows that you have, and that’s a reality that just is what it is. But it’s certainly not necessary to add insult to injury by putting her assets on the hot seat, so to speak. Avoid compliments about how nice her boobs are sitting up, the “Coke bottle” shape, or how thick her thighs look in her leggings. She knows. A woman wants to be made to feel beautiful, not like an object of sex, and certainly not so by a stranger. Keep your filthy little observations to yourself.

My Experience – I was once approached at a party by a guy who broke the ice by saying “Wow, I love your height. How tall are you?” Now, my first reaction was an outburst of laughter. It seemed like such a bizarre compliment! But, at 5’10” before my 5″ platform heels in a room filled with guys that barely hit 6 feet, it was flattering and made me feel much more comfortable. Over a year later, we’re still great friends. (And yes, he was taller than me even with my heels on. Score.)

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  • @ Dreaming

    Yup and in the process disrespecting some women because their lines work on a few. This is what I hate!

    Don’t disrespect me because some other woman fell for that ish!

    I name isn’t “slim” “shorty” or ” pisssssssss”. Most men approach me with Miss but tere are always that few who don’t.

    I’ve found that when men act up, or you think they are going to put on a show for their friends, just saying something to throw them off so you have time to move away.

    Guy: “Pisssssssssss”
    Chic noir: “Jesus is the light” or ” happy birthday” or “Merry Xmas”
    Guy: looks around at friends and says ” ay yo”
    Chic noir: “Have a nice day”

  • i think i’ll continue just not saying anything, and passing y’all by, no matter how interested i am.

    oh, and that arranged marriage sounds like a good idea.

    • Nolan Voyd

      Yeah. No one’s feelings will be hurt then.

  • Socially Maladjusted


    The reason the guys aren’t listening to the women (and quite rightly so) is most women don’t date women. So what the hell do you know about it beyond what you CLAIM works for YOU?



    (btw – got some of my best pulls by taking a MAN-handle it approach with snotty “ask me nice” skets)

    kiss teet

    Furthermore – I don’t take advice from people who don’t have to do what I have to do.

    The social custom is that men initiate relationships, if a man wants a woman, most times he’s the one who has to ask. Sometimes women ask – (and that’s very flattering so don’t stop) but not enough to make asking a burden/risk that is shouldered equally by men and women. Which means only men can advise other men on how to ask.

    But still it gets more complicated than that because different men get different responses to their ask. A super stud won’t necessarliy get the same response to his ask, as a not so super stud. So I wouldn’t take advice from super studs either coz what works for them might not work for most of us.

    Go Thug (that’ll piss off the thugblamers)


    Nope – I’m not suggesting that men pander to women’s so called preference for bad boys.

    Thug isn’t about that for me.

    Thug is the male equivalent of YOU GO GURRRLL girl power – nothing more, so don’t get it twisted.

    Thug legitimizes whatever kinda man you wanna be, and allows you to be the YOU wanna be. Not some do-ragged, gun totin stereotype or an imitation “ack right”, “talk proper” white boy or some emasculated “mr nice guy” fraud –

    who asks politely only to get shot down over and over again. LMAO!

    Make peace with whatever you got and aint got and just relax and do you dear brother.

    Them white boy computer geeks were the laughing stock of boring hags, but look whose larfin now.

    I remember when rap first hit the streets – guess who said it was dumb back then coz they didn’t get it – coz it wasn’t all limp and wet and pretty (light skin) bwoy?

    Well guess who wants to be in the video now?


    Thug is about innovation, breaking the rules, setting your own agenda – you know like MAN shit. Setting it up so they never see you coming and having the –

    last laugh!


    Wish I knew people who were smart enough to give this kind of advice when I was a kid.

    • Dreaming

      Most men don’t date other men, but they frequently give women dating advice anyway, so what is your point?

    • Socially Maladjusted


      er men tend not to give women advice on how to respond to an approach..


      because all ya gotta do is say yes or no.

      What advice do you need on how to do that?


      However skills are required to chat people up and since few women develop those kinds of skills to get dates – women’s “advice” on this particular matter is –



  • Name Withheld

    DO: Be counterintuitive. That’s the only way the game works. Women talk east and walk west.
    DO: If you really need relationship advice go and read books by guys like Paul Janka, Styles Neil Strauss,Tariq Nasheed, etc.

    In the best case scenario,taking advice from this article will put you in the friend zone, and you don’t want that. It simply doesn’t work. Remember the 2 men who approached this author the right way? Did that approach get them anythere. No.