You know someone is a true friend if they tell you the truth no matter how harsh or unpleasant it may be. They tell you the things that you don’t want to hear because they care about your well being and want the best for you. It is better to hear the truth from someone who loves you than a stranger in the street. That will hurt you more and simply make you question why those who are the closest to you chose to lie to your face.

Some people are surrounded by a poisoness group called yes men. These are the worst kind of people to have around you because they will agree with everything you say or want to do even if they know it is harmful to you. They don’t want to risk upsetting you for fear that you will no longer want to be friends with them. Usually these people get some kind of a perk from being your “friend” and therefore want to protect the benefits they get from being around you at all costs. These people are like your own personal robots. They will never say anything to counter what you have already said or done. They don’t really care about you, but more about themselves. It may seem nice to have people like this around who won’t argue with you or try to prevent you from doing things you want to do, but in the end they are only detrimental to you.

A true friend won’t care if you get mad at them or even say that you never want to see them again. It would hurt them, but it will hurt them more to know they claim to be your friend but are lying to you or keeping something from you that you need to know. A true friend will dread the day you come to them upset because they had to find out from someone else something that you should have told them a long time ago.

Friendships are very similar to relationships only without the intimacy. People who have been friends for years and never had an argument or minor disagreement are suspect to me. A real friend will never let you go outside looking crazy or do something that they know you will regret later.  Take the time to evaluate if you are surrounded by true friends or yes men. It will be worth it.

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  • eh… too many people (especially black women) take that “I keeps it real” foolishness too far. A REAL FRIEND knows when to tell you the truth about your shit, and when to cosign. Real friends know how, and when, to do both.

    I, personally, cannot stand being around people who feel like they have to be blunt and unpleasant all the time because they think it makes them “real”. A person can be honest and tactful at the same time, they are not mutually exclusive. Yes, there definitely ARE those situations where you just have to call folks out to get the point across (I have been known to say, on many many occasions, that some people just have to be cursed out to get the point about something), but brutal honesty is not required 100% of the time. True “friends” are not going to tell you “Your dress is too short and you look trashy” on the day you get fired from your job or your partner breaks up with you. And people who do that are not “REAL” — they are nasty and cloaking their behavior in “I’M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! I’M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU!!” bitshull.

    Seriously, just watch a “When keeping it real goes wrong” skit to get the picture.

    “A true friend won’t care if you get mad at them or even say that you never want to see them again.”

    That’s one of the most ridiculous comments I’ve ever seen. Of COURSE your friends will care when you are angry at them or say mean things to them. If being mean or saying hurtful things didn’t affect them, then they weren’t a “true” friend to begin with. That statement could be rephrased to say:

    A true friend will forgive you for saying stupid shit when you’re emotional.

    Friendship isn’t based on ignoring or avoiding the bad times, it’s about forgiving them and being a good enough friend to recognize that it’s easier to hurt the people who love you because you know they’ll understand and forgive you.

    I don’t know, this is another article I just don’t understand…

    • Whos_Bad

      You hit the nail on the head. This is one of those instances where I will keep it real by not consigning this article. I agree with the basic premise. “Yes-
      men” are highly detrimental to your delusions of grandeur. Lol. However, you don’t have to always say how you feel in a brash manner and masks it as “keeping it real”. Furthermore “People who have been friends for years and never had an argument or minor disagreement are suspect to me.” Umm, no.
      Please do not foster the idea that a friend is not a real friend and is not telling you the truth if you’ve never had an argument. I’ve known some of my best friends for almost 14 years now and I purposely have never had an argument because I know exactly what my triggers are. I am slow to get angry but once I’m on 10, I’m really on 10. Whenever I disagree with what my friends are saying, I present it in a manner that is not judgmental or condescending. I also choose my battles. It isnt always necessary to tell your friend you don’t like their outfit. If they ask, fine. A simple “its not my style so I wouldn’t wear it”
      will do. But if they constantly dress in a particular style that you don’t like, it isnt necessary to always say it since, well, they obviously want to look that way. Instead of “I keeps it real” some of you need a lesson in “I keeps it tactful” If you notice you only have 1 good friend or very few, perhaps it’s not always the other person at fault. If you’re not a good friend, you will not keep good friends. Plain and simple. All women are not catty and phony. Be a better person. Choose better friends. It’s amazing what type of people you attract with a positive attitude.

  • Indeed~ I definitely agree with you.
    True friends doesn’t mean to be someone who always saying YES and all YES.
    They should be someone who’s giving their truthful opinion.

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