As a cosmetologist and fashion designer, April Brown’s life was all about making other women look beautiful, but when she underwent an unlicensed cosmetic procedure to enhance her own figure, she was actually left disfigured. Life-threatening infections from the backroom butt implants she received have left her a multiple amputee with no hands or legs below the knee cap. The mother of two told NBC 4 News:

“I got the butt implants five years ago. For five years, I lived in pain. Excruciating pain.”

Although many women whose health has been compromised from these procedures have filed charges against their accusers, Brown refuses to name the unlicensed practitioner who injected her with silicone. She did say the practice is common at pumping parties around her area of Manchester, California, and she said the facilitators often lie and say the product they are using is medical grade silicone when it’s really industrial silicone.

Brown admits that low self-esteem is what pushed her to take the risk and receive the butt injections, but the support she’s received from her family and friends since the incident has shown her how loved she was all along. Now she wants to spread that positivity as a motivational speaker and tell her story of survival.

“We don’t validate each other,” she says. “We really don’t know how our friends feel about us, unless we have very expressive friends.”

Unfortunately, there are too many women who feel the same as Brown—and too many others who are willing to take advantage of those insecurities by injecting these harmful materials and changing their lives more than they could have imagined. There have been enough negative reports on the dangers of these procedures for people to realize a bigger rump just isn’t worth the risk.

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