Uh, our ship sailed, uh, the wind blows
The door’s always open but our window is closed
You always thought “What if?”

The first time I heard Jay-Z’s verse on Sade’s The Moon and The Sky (Remix), I had all sorts of feelings well up inside. I was trying to get over what I thought was a heartbreak that would leave me forever scared. “Our ship sailed,” I’d repeat, reminding myself that some folks are in your life for seasons. I tried to convince myself to let go of every what if. But I recently keyed in on another part of the verse, “The door’s always open, but our window is closed.”

Returning home means time with family, reconnecting with friends, and maybe lunch or drinks with an old boo.

The texts and calls usually start sometime after a Twitter or Facebook update announcing my return. As a single woman who has no beef with any of the past players on my roster, I’m usually game. The door is in fact open, we’re on good terms, we’re adults, we’re catching up, and sometimes there is a still a what if or two.

While discussing the pros and cons of West Coast vs. East Coast living with a dude who has been around for ages, I wondered: When does this end?

If two people are single and you didn’t end on bad terms, is there always an open door?
If you’re not into backtracking, is there a number of years (and honestly amount of time spent being single and hoping for a connection with someone who really gets you) that makes you think “hmmm, we’ve grown, let’s see what happens?”

We talk about seasons. But we also talk about timing. Does this mean that the former always gives us strength to let go and the former always gives us permission to reach for that window one more time?

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