June, the month that kicks off the marryingest season of the year, is just around the corner. I don’t know about you, but my summers always yield at least one wild wedding story: the eighteen-person bridal court did a choreographed stanky-leg/Dougie processional; the bride’s ex is one of the groomsman, but the groom isn’t aware they ever dated; one intrepid bridesmaid clearly broke with request and tradition, skipping the David’s Bridal order altogether and just rocking her own dress in a close-but-not-quite shade of champagne. But some stories are wilder than others. There is, of course, the occasional worst wedding fate imaginable: someone’s left standing at the altar. Then there’s the second worst fate, one that isn’t quite as sad and usually provides twice as juicy an anecdote: the wedding objection.
< div style="margin: 0;">With the skyrocketing cost of weddings, it’s become even less likely that a hand will shoot up or a voice will be raised, when the minister asks if anyone objects to the union. Crash the wrong ceremony with that nonsense and you might catch a bad one, not just because you’re being inappropriate, but because the venue cost eight grand for two hours and an outburst like that might result in overage.
This doesn’t stop some wedding goers (and participants) from hoping for the highly unlikely. Even if you haven’t personally felt like speaking up or having your peace forever withheld, you probably know someone who’s fantasized about it. There’s the one-who-got-away, who shows up at her ex’s wedding, secretly believing that he’s making a huge mistake and hoping that the mere sight of her will jolt him to his senses. There’s the groom who has a bad feeling, and wants to object on his own beha lf, but feels like things are too far gone to back out now. There’s the bride who, though thrilled to be trading vows with someone wonderful, still feels a twinge of regret for the guy she once thought was the love of her life.
There’s a reason the live studio audience cheered so loudly when Dwayne crashed Whitley’s wedding. There’s a reason we still get amped when that ep airs on TV One today. The idea, that someone loves you enough to feel sick at the thought of losing you forever, is a wistful one. And so is the notion that you have the power to stop something terrible from happening, just by speaking up before it’s too late. The ability to conjure those sentiments is what makes “wedding crash-and-object” trope such an enduring pop culture convention.
Even though Dwayne-Whitley wedding scene reenactments are never okay in real life, have you ev er attended a wedding where you wanted to see one? Ever talked someone out of one? Have you contemplated raising a hand in objection at the joining of two souls? What’s the most inappropriate scene you’ve witnessed at a wedding?