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They say distance makes the heart grow fonder and this holds true even in your own home. Maintaining your individuality is important to having a healthy relationship, and sometimes having separate rooms in your home can help with this. A little “me time” is something we all need. It in no way means you love your mate any less, but rather that you don’t need to be joined at the hip every second of the day.

My man can literally watch EPSN all day; I mean all day. We enjoy spending time together and kicking back like most couples, but at times I want to watch what I want and vice versa. At times like those, I retreat to my own little room and leave him to his sports heaven. The separate rooms come in handy for those days when the two of you are home all day with not much to do. There are, of course, other extracurricular activities that can pass the time, but sometimes you want to do the little things you enjoy. If he wants to watch television, but you want to read, you can go to that separate room. If you need quiet time away from the family to just think, pray, or maintain your sanity,  this extra room will be a godsend.

Constantly being in each other’s space can drive the two of you crazy after a while. Having a sanctuary of your own can strengthen your relationship. When you feel like you are about to go off on your mate and say things you will later regret, you can go to this room to blow off steam.

The idea of separate rooms from your mate is not a new one. Author of Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules Pamela Haag says separate bedrooms may be the solution to saving any relationship on the rocks.

“Already one in four Americans sleeps in separate bedrooms or beds from their spouses. The National Association of Homebuilders predicts that by 2015, 60 percent of new homes will be designed with ‘dual master bedrooms.’”

I don’t agree with sleeping in a separate room from your mate because I feel the best part of my day is laying in bed with the one I love, cuddling up and falling asleep in his arms.

One of my favorite episodes from the “Cosby Show” is when Bill built that separate room for Claire. They were by no means having issues in their marriage, but she loved it because it was her private little getaway. We all need our own personal piece of tranquility to get us through the rough patches.

How do you feel about the separate bedrooms phenom?
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  • Candy 1

    We have our own separate space, and always have. He is my best friend, but we don’t have to be around each other all day, every day. We spend a LOT of time with one another since we just started working together. I like having a feminine place to go at the end of the day.

    I don’t want separate beds/bedrooms because that is where sex is initiated 5 times out of 10, and we have a lot of deep-thought conversations there, and we both like having someone to sleep next to.

  • Arcy

    Separate rooms, yes! Loving this idea. Maybe separate blankets too?

  • ImJustSaying

    Me and my Man have separate blankets! We do what we do, cuddle for a bit then go to our seperate “cocoons” so when i get hot in the middle of the night I can push the blanket to my feet without making him freeze. All for seperate spaces and blankets but I want to wake up to my man every morning, and get a last kiss every night.

  • ignorantdolt

    Having a couple of rooms in your house to spend your time is one thing. Having separate bedrooms, seems like a recipe for a relationship to drift. In fact of the 25% of couples that sleep in separate rooms, I’ll bet we would find a much higher case of adultery and divorce. Any statistics on that you can share with us?