It seems there’s no end to the demanding challenges that we juggle daily. We have to be at work at a certain time, we have to pick up the kids when they get out of school, we have appointments and events we must attend. This list is so exhaustive that style, when we’re at our leisure, becomes that one area of self-expression we can manage on our own terms. Fashion is one of the greatest and purest ways through which we express our mood, personality and creativity.
But even that is sometimes compromised when women enter relationships. The thinking is that a good woman wants to provide for her man in any way possible; however, does that desire have to extend to the way she chooses to dress? Isn’t that a very personal process and decision? Believe it or not, many women are facing the dilemma of dressing for their man today and I am not afraid to say that I was once one of these women.

“Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no make-up on, That’s when you’re the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong.” Drake’s popular line was one I always admired and truly identified with until my whole look changed for a man.

I have always been a no boundaries kind of gal when it came to fashion. Bright colors, fun jewelry, flats and jeans were my uniform.

My man claimed to love me, but he couldn’t stand my look. He always preferred for me to wear skirts and wanted me to wear more neutral colors. At the time, I didn’t see this as a problem; I mean why wouldn’t I change my style if it could make my boyfriend happy? But as I reflect on it today, I cannot believe that I had compromised myself to abide by his standards.

When I changed elements of my style for a man, I compromised who I am. When we broke up, I promised myself I’d never do that again.

Now, as I proudly walk down the street in my neon green jumpsuit and plum sandals, it’s clear that those days of compromising my style and my personality are far behind me.

However, I am troubled when I come in to contact with women who have given up their sense of style to cater to a man like I did.

Why are we so quick to do that?

Now, there is nothing wrong with looking good for your man. I am by all means a strong advocate of this. However, I am a stronger advocate of looking good for yourself first. How are we as women suppose to gain respect if we are so quick to give up our parts of who we are to please our mates?

I believe that real men would never pressure a woman into dressing differently than she desires to. It’s a form of control that we shouldn’t stand for.

Ladies, have you ever changed the way you dressed for a man or adhered to his “dress code”? Have you ever asked your man to change his style? How did he react?

-Julissa Escobosa

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